What Comes After
by FeltonLewis
Summary: "If you had someone that you loved, would you not do anything you could to make sure their life was spared?" The anger slipped from my eyes and I tightened my arms around my son, Malfoy's words hitting too close to home for comfort. "Are you ill, Granger? Is that why Pansy was crying? Because she knew your son would be alone soon?" He was right- but just not about who was ill.
1. Chapter 1

**Hi Readers! Welcome to my new story, What Comes After. I thought of it because of an event that took place last week- 30th May- and it got me thinking ever since then how a parent would feel if they lost their child and it's broken my heart and even though I would not know how something like that would feel, I had to write what I could imagine then. So as you can probably imagine, it's going to be a very very angsty and sad story but there WILL be moments which will be sweet. I'm going to do my best with this story and I do hope it works out! I was planning on making it an original story but then I thought maybe making it a Dramione wouldn't be a bad idea either. I know you might have some questions at the end of this and feel free to review with them but they should all be answered in the coming chapters! Enjoy this one and please please read and review xx**

**Much love,**

**FeltonLewis**

**Disclaimer: The characters, unless you don't recognize them, are not mine! They're the lovely JK Rowling's!**

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I do not believe there is anything more cruel in the world than your child being taken away from you. It's against everything that's right in the world. Against everything that is fair. When you are a parent, your world changes. It's beautiful and it's crazy. It's a love you have never felt before. It's perfect yet completely out of control.

But then suddenly, everything changes. There are different ways in which your child can be ripped away from you- all painful in their own ways. But nothing is more painful than physically and emotionally being there every step of the way- knowing and watching your child slip out of your fingers but not being able to do a single thing about it. The denial, the screaming, the crying, the anger, the hatred- that's all you see for more days than you can count. And then it's gone- and all you're left with is the pain. The overwhelming pain that comes with the knowledge that there's nothing left to do. That they're going to leave you soon. That you will be alone once this is all over.

And then what? What comes after that? When all you had in your life was his sweet, round face- his little button nose and big dark doe eyes, his messy curly brown hair and that toothy smile that made the worst days better. So you're stuck, then? With nowhere to go and nothing to say. How do you spend the next five months knowing that at the end of it, you will be left with nothing?

"Mummy." I quickly put my pen down and shut my notebook, taking a deep breath and shutting off the table lamp before going to our queen sized bed where my little boy of four lay, blinking sleepily.

"Hey, baby." I said softly, crawling in beside him.

"Are we going to visit gramma and gran'pa tomorrow?" He asked, turning to his side to face me and closing his eyes.

"Not tomorrow but the day after we sure are." I answered, pulling him closer to me. "We're going to Uncle Harry's tomorrow morning."

"Will gran'pa be able to talk to me?" He asked, his voice growing sleepier with each word.

"Maybe, Ro. If he's feeling alright."

"I hope he is." Roland mumbled.

"Me too, love." I said, knowing that there was no more of my heart left to break. I hugged Roland close to me and shut my eyes. It had been 14 months since I had received the news of his incurable malady. 14 months since my world had started falling apart. 14 months since an aching pain had settled inside me and had then refused to leave.

* * *

"Are you ready?" I called from the bottom of the staircase, pulling my shoes on. "Roland!"

"I'm coming, Mummy!" He said and then was bounding down the stairs. I reached out to him with my arms and lifted him off the last couple of stairs, grabbing my bad and stepping into the floo.

"Hold on tight." I reminded him before dropping the floor powder and calling out Harry's residence. I stepped out once it was safe and brushed myself and Ro down, smiling at the sight of soot smudged onto his nose. He giggled as I wiped it off just as Ginny called from the kitchen- "Hermione, is that you?!"

"Yeah, Gin. Ro and I are here." I said, moving towards the dining room. I stepped inside and was surprised to see that it wasn't just Harry, Ron, Ginny and Pansy present but a certain other Slytherin who I hadn't seen in four whole years. I stepped back, warily, my eyes on him and his on me.

"Where's my favourite little nephew?!" Ginny squealed, hurrying towards us and pulling Roland out of my arms. I released my little boy, smiling and she gave me a quick hug. Even though I had never ended up marrying into the family like a lot of people assumed I would have, it didn't stop Ginny and Harry from considering Roland their nephew. They weren't the only ones- Ron and Pansy, who had been together for half a year now, loved Ro just as much. While Harry, Ginny and Ron knew about Roland's sickness, however, Pansy was unaware. I was not ready to trust her yet but I knew that sometime soon, she was sure to find out. But until then, I wanted to keep it to the few of us.

"Uncle Harry's back!" Ro grinned at Harry who was standing up and walking towards us. He hugged me tight and kissed me on the forehead before turning to my son.

"Indeed I am, kid." Harry said, taking him right out of Ginny's arms, earning a glare from the red-head. "Sorry, Gin, but I haven't seen him in a month." Pain swept through his eyes for a moment and Ginny nodded and turned to talk to me, her eyes sad. Harry had almost refused an operation in the Auror department because he didn't want to leave Roland's side but I had promised him with a brave face that nothing would happen while he was gone.

"Ginny, why is Draco Malfoy here?" I whispered, glancing at the boy- rather, man- in question. He was looking at Roland and Harry interacting with a curious expression.

"I know I should've told you but-"

"He was a death-eater, Ginny." I said, something akin to fear creeping inside me. It wasn't fear for myself. It was for my son- I couldn't risk ANYTHING happening to him.

"You know better than to let prejudices and anything else in the past come in the way of the present, Hermione!" She reprimanded me. "Malfoy was on the case with Harry and not only had his back throughout but also saved his life. Harry invited him here."

"If he-"

"He won't do anything to your son, Hermione, I promise you." She said. "You KNOW I wouldn't let anything happen to Ro." I stared at her and glanced at Malfoy before nodding curtly.

We entered the kitchen and Ron got up to squeeze the life out of me. "It's been too long," He said.

I laughed- "Ron, you saw me last week."

"Precisely." He said, releasing me and grinning down at me. I smiled softly at him before moving to Pansy, who hugged me as well. The four of them made it a point to come spend a couple of hours with Ro and me at least once a week each, which I was grateful for. Roland needed people to be around him. And so did I.

"Malfoy." I nodded at him. He nodded back.

"Good to see you, Granger. You look well. I was not aware you have a son." He said and it was almost as if he was assessing my reaction which made me warier than I was before.

The others seemed to have stopped what they were doing but I raised my head high and said, "You've been gone for four years- I'm sure there are a lot of things you are unaware of." I moved to sit beside Ginny and Harry sat down on my other side, Roland on his lap.

"He has your hair." Malfoy commented and I swallowed hard. Harry's hand found mine under the table and I held on to it.

"He does." I nodded curtly. I know Malfoy was trying to be polite and I suppose the only thing Roland and I had in common was the curly brown hair, but I wished he would just stop talking. I didn't want him to ask me about my son because I didn't want to tell him anything. It wasn't his business. Not like it ever would be.

Ginny cleared her throat and headed towards the kitchen. "Hermione, Pansy- want to help?" The two of us stood up, me faster than the black-haired witch. I stole one last glance at our new guest and ran a hand through my hair tiredly. This was going to be a long afternoon.

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**This was just a starter chapter so the following ones will be longer! Do review xx**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hi readers (: Thank you for giving my story a shot and a big thank you to those you reviewed/followed/favourited! Do enjoy this and review at the end! xx**

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I paused, my fingers hovering over the door bell. I looked down at my son, who was standing beside me impatiently, swinging his arms.

"Remember, Ro, gran'pa might not talk to you as much as you want him to but-"

"I know, I won't ask him to." Roland said. "But I can talk to him, right?"

"As much as you want, baby." I smiled before ringing the bell. It was as if my mother had been waiting right on the other side of the door because it opened within record time and she was standing in front of us, a grin on her face.

"Hey, kids." I laughed as she hugged me with one arm and reached for Ro with the other- he hugged her around the leg and she ruffled his hair. "It's good to see you both. How've you been?" She asked, releasing us and walking with us to the living room.

"We're fine- we had lunch at Harry's yesterday so that was fun- except for the fact that Draco Malfoy turned up." I said, my eyes on Roland, who had jumped onto the couch and seated himself comfortably on it. "Roland, how many times have I told you not to jump around near that glass table?"

"He's just a boy, leave him be." My mother scolded lightly.

"Yes, but-"

"You can't fear for him forever. Let him just be." She said, placing her hand on my arm and sitting down beside me on the sofa. "Now isn't Malfoy the boy you lot were never friends with?" She switched the television on for Ro and flipped to a cartoon channel.

"I thought he was!" I said. "But apparently he went on a case with Harry and saved his life- so Harry called him over."

"If Harry trusts him then maybe he isn't so bad- maybe he has changed." She shrugged. "How was he during the lunch?"

"He was alright, I suppose. He kept looking at Roland though." I lowered my voice.

"Maybe he was just curious. Not a lot of people know he's yours."

"I know but something just makes me really wary about him." I said.

"Or maybe you're just over-thinking this and reacting strongly because you're scared for Roland." She suggested.

"I probably am but what if I'm right? What if there's a good reason to be wary? And something goes wrong- what comes after that? I can't risk it." I said firmly.

"Honey," She said, sighing. "Thinking about 'what if's' isn't the best thing to do. If you're playing it that way then- what if he's a really good guy and has genuinely changed for the better? There's no time for 'what if's'. You have to just... trust things. It's okay to take risks."

"Not with my son, it's not." I shook my head. "I'm not risking Roland."

"What's there to risk?" She asked.

"I'm not going to mess up the last five months I have with him, mum. I'm just not."

Before she could reply, Roland called out to us. "Can we go meet grandpa, please?"

"He was just getting ready to see you- Hermione, do you want to go see him first while I get Ro some cookies?" My mother asked, hinting that it wasn't a very good morning for my father. I nodded and headed upstairs while mum took Roland to the kitchen.

I knocked on my parents' door before pushing it open and peering inside. I rushed up to the king sized bed and helped my father, who was struggling to sit up. Once he was comfortable, I kissed his cheek and sat beside him on the edge of the bed.

"It's good to see you, dad." I said, taking his hand.

"It's good to see you too, darling." He said. "How's Ro?"

"He'll be bounding up the stairs with all the energy he has in a few seconds." He smiled fondly and just as I had predicted, the door opened and Roland was on the bed on dad's other side in an instant. "Hey, Ro."

"Hi, gran'pa." Roland grinned, hugging his grandfather gently. "How are you?"

"I'm fine, Ro. How are you?"

"I'm fine too." Roland said and the irony of that exchange wasn't lost to my parents or to me. I took a deep breath and got up to stand by my mother.

"Did the doctor come in yesterday?" I asked softly.

She nodded. "He's doing as well as he can given the situation but the doctor said that in 2 weeks, he would need to be shifted to the hospital. He shouldn't even be at home right now but- it's what he wanted."

I swallowed hard and took a deep breath. "One month."

"One month." Mum repeated and it never failed to amaze me how unbelievably strong she could seem on the outside. I can't imagine how I would be four months from now- I didn't even want to imagine it.

I took a seat on the bed next to Roland and we spent the next two hours simply talking and enjoying the afternoon with each other, knowing but refusing to acknowledge that it was one in a series of our lasts.

* * *

I held Roland close to me, his head resting on my shoulder as he slept, and left the Apothecary to head to the nearest child-friendly apparation point in Diagon Alley. I stepped off the sidewalk when a voice called out to me. A much too familiar one.

"Is it safe to be roaming around the streets at eleven at night alone?"

I kept walking as I answered, "It's not something I haven't done before. The store agreed to have an urgent package ready for me and this was the only time I could get it from them. Though I'm not sure why I'm wasting my time explaining my actions to you."

"Well sorry for being concerned."

"You don't need to be."

"I wanted to apologize." I stopped finally and turned towards him, raising an eyebrow questioningly.

"For yesterday's lunch." He said. "I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable." I nodded and turned away to keep walking.

"Come on, Granger. I get that you didn't expect me to be there but maybe we can put our past aside and-"

"I'm not interested. I'm sorry but I'm really not." I stopped at the apparation point.

"Despite it being a child-friendly point, it's still not safe to apparate with a four year old." He said. I clenched my teeth together.

"I don't think you can tell me how I should or should not be with my own son, Malfoy." I snapped, spinning around to face him.

"What the bloody hell is your problem?" He snapped right back. "I figured that since my best friend is now a permanent fixture in your best friend's house and your other best friend has begun inviting me over, we should grow up and at least try to be civil."

"I grew up a long time ago." I said, scowling. "It's you who remained that stupid, arrogant arse all through the war."

"Growing up involves realising that things have changed and that you need to move on from things that happened seven years ago."

I scoffed and lowered my voice when I realised we were getting louder with each word. "Move on? It was a war- people died! It may be easy for you to have moved on but-"

"Easy for me to have moved on?! I suffered as much- if not more- than you did! I would've thought that Hermione bloody Granger- the oh-so compassionate one- of all people would have realised that our side suffered too. We were your age, Granger. And you're forgetting that while your light side had a choice, we didn't."

"Everyone has a choice." I said.

"It's not a choice if it's a matter between life and death. If you had someone that you loved and your actions decided whether they lived or died, would you not do anything you could to make sure their life was spared?" The anger slipped from my eyes and I tightened my arms around my son, Malfoy's words hitting too close to home for comfort.

He sighed, his shoulders slowly slumping from the defensive stance he had been standing with. "You know what, never mind." He said and with one last glance at Roland, he left. I swallowed hard, his words still reverberating through my skull. I took the nearest floo home instead of apparating that evening.

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**Hope you enjoyed that, please do review xx **

**Ps: The chapters WILL get longer as the story progresses, I promise!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hi Readers! Thank you for coming back to read the next chapter (or if you're a new reader, for giving it a chance!) This chapter is longer than the previous two and as I said, they will get longer as the story progresses. I know a lot of you have questions- who is Ro's father? What happened before this? What does Roland have? All your questions will be slowly answered, some in this chapter.**

**Do review at the end, good or bad- I'm always ready to improve with your suggestions xx**

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Taking a sip out of my cup of coffee, I rose and went over to collect the Daily Prophet from the owl pecking at my window. I returned to my seat at the kitchen table and unrolled the paper, my entire body freezing as soon as I saw the cover story. No… This couldn't be happening. It was impossible. I had been careful for four whole years to keep this from the papers- to make sure nobody in the Wizarding world except those I trusted knew the truth. What had changed?

And then it struck me. Of course. It was the only possible explanation. It was the only thing that had changed.

"Roland, are you done eating?" I asked, closing the paper before he could see it and stuffing it into my bag. Ro nodded and swallowed his last little spoon of cereal before getting up to get his jacket.

"Ready to go?" I called, putting the dishes away in the sink and heading to the bathroom to rinse my mouth. Once I was ready myself, I grabbed my jacket and bag and gestured for Roland to step into the floo with me. I held on tightly to him as usual and we flooed to the Diagon Alley Nursery that had opened five years ago. It was run by Hannah Abbott, who was absolutely fantastic with all the children.

"Morning, Hermione." Parvati smiled at me from the desk in the floo room, where she kept a register of children coming and going and their times. I greeted her and signed Roland in and kissed him on the forehead before he ran off.

"Hermione." I looked at Parvati, who had a serious expression on her face. "The paper-"

"I know." I said, sighing. Other than my immediate circle of friends, Parvati and Hannah knew everything about Roland because I would call upon them whenever I needed help with him and they had earned the right to know. I trusted them with my son which was something I did not do often with people.

"What are you going to do?" She asked.

"Right now, I have no idea." I said, dragging my hands over my face tiredly.

"It's going to be okay, Hermione." She said, sympathetically.

I smiled weakly. "Things are way beyond the point of being okay, Parvati. But thank you. I'll pick him up at 2:30."

"Of course. I'll see you later." She said. Instead of flooing to the St Mungo's orphanage wing, however, I headed straight to Harry's office in the Auror Department of the Ministry of Magic. I was one of the few people who had direct access into his office, which was always useful- especially considering I needed him often in relation to Roland.

"Hermione? What are you doing here? Is everything okay?" He asked, his wide eyes on me, his wand drawn.

I grabbed the paper out of my bag and showed him the cover. "Have you seen this?" His shoulders slumped and he nodded. "Where's Malfoy?"

"Excuse me?"

"Where's Malfoy?" I repeated.

"Hermione- it has nothing to do with Malfoy-"

"Where is he, Harry?" I asked slowly, my eyes blazing and my wand gripped in my hand.

"Training room two." He answered. I moved swiftly to the door while Harry called after me- "Hermione, this has nothing to do with him! Trust me! He wouldn't do this!"

"Stay out of my way." I said before slamming the door shut behind me. As soon as I was out of the office and into the open common office area, people stopped what they were doing and stared at me.

I stared back at them with a look in my eyes that dared them to say something. To whisper amongst themselves. They took the hint and returned to their work and I headed straight to training room number two, which was a few corridors down. I knew every corridor of the floor, considering I had worked in the Auror department for 2 years after graduating from Hogwarts and before getting Roland.

I reached the double doors of the training hall and taking a deep breath and tightening the grip on my wand, I pushed them open. As Harry had said, Malfoy was there- blocking spells that were rapidly being thrown at him from the automated magical systems in the room. I waved my wand in the air and mumbled the spell I knew would stop the systems. As soon as they shut down, Malfoy spun around, his wand ready.

"Granger?"

I walked towards him furiously and when I reached him, raised my hand and slapped him across the face.

His head flew to the side and his hand moved to massage his jaw. He looked up at me, his eyes full of rage. "What the bloody hell was that for?" He asked, enunciated each word slowly.

"For this." I threw the paper at him and he caught it, looking down at the front cover and scanning through the article quickly. As if he didn't already know what was on it.

"I thought the wizarding world knew Roland was your's?" He asked.

"They didn't until you told them!"

"What?! Why would I say anything to the Prophet about your son?!"

"Don't play innocent, Malfoy! Until you came around- everyone was under the impression that Roland was my muggle cousin's son!"

"Why would you even feed them that story? Do you have some scandalous tale to hide?" He asked, his lips pulling back into a snarl.

"I have nothing to hide. But I didn't want my son to be whispered about at such a young age." I said, raising my head high.

"You're lying and you know it. You're trying to cover up some secret but whatever the hell it is, I had nothing to do with this." He said, throwing the paper right back at me.

"Stop lying. Why else would it appear in the Prophet just a few days after YOU come here when it's been kept hidden from the entire Wizarding world for the past four years?" I challenged him.

"That is a question you need to find the answer to yourself and I can assure you that it has nothing to do with me." He said. "We may have gotten off to a bad start but-"

I scoffed. "We got off to a bad start thirteen years ago when you called me a mudblood and did everything you could to make me feel inferior to you."

He stepped closer to me. "I told you I had changed."

"Prove it then." I snapped, taking a step forward as well, refusing to back down.

"I have to prove nothing to you. Get out." He pointed to the double doors.

"Not until you admit you told the papers."

"I didn't tell the papers anything. Why would they believe me anyway? I've returned to Britain after four years and before that I spent two years in Azkaban- people don't exactly trust me around here, if you hadn't already noticed."

"They have reason not to."

"I said get out. Or I will alert the department that someone who is not a part of our team is in our training hall and they will make sure you leave, no matter how you're related to Harry Potter. It's protocol."

"Stay away from my son, Malfoy." I spat.

"I'll stay away from both of you, if you don't mind too much." He said, stepping away from me finally.

I spun on my heel and left, not being able to even look at the man for a second longer. I left the building, not bothering with explaining anything to Harry but found that when I reached the orphanage wing at St Mungo's, Ginny was waiting for me in the baby room, sitting with one of the three-month old babies and holding a milk bottle to it's mouth. She looked up and smiled sadly at me when she noticed me. I sighed and put my things away before signing my name into the register and sitting down with her, picking up a crying baby from her crib on the way.

"What are you doing here?" I asked.

"I asked my Healer in charge if I could stop by here for an hour and he said I deserved a break so here I am." Ginny said simply. She was currently a healer in the emergency ward and was one of the most hard-working in the ward- everyone knew it. It wouldn't be long before she was promoted.

"Why else are you here, Ginny?" I said, rocking little Anne until she finally stopped crying.

"You know why." She said. "I saw the paper this morning."

"I know- Harry told me he saw it."

"I don't live with him you, know." She said, shaking her head.

"You're at his apartment most nights, Ginny. You may as well be." I rolled my eyes.

She laughed. "Fair enough. But anyway- has Roland seen it?"

"Of course not." I said. I sighed heavily. "What do I do, Gin?"

"Get a reliable writer for the Prophet and tell them to print the truth." I looked at her and she continued- "There's nothing wrong with the truth."

"What do I say?"

"That you had gone on a three month long mission close to four years ago in France and there was a shoot-out where more people than you can count died but amongst the few survivors was a two month old baby. You waited for another month while things were sorted and the criminals arrested but during that time, nobody came to claim the baby. He was put into an orphanage but after that one month you spent taking care of him, you couldn't leave him and so you adopted him. You named him Roland Granger and lived with him at your parents' house so that he would not end up in the news. You returned to the wizarding world two years later when you got your own apartment but created the story that Roland was your muggle cousin's magical son and that you took care of him a lot- all so that he was protected from the news."

"And what happens five months from now?" I asked, my throat choking up. "How do I possibly explain that?"

"You don't have to." Ginny said. "They don't need to know- we'll cross that bridge when we get there. It's none of their business."

"And when they ask about his real family? Questions are bound to be thrown at me."

"Hermione, you ARE his real family." She said firmly, placing a hand on my arm. "You are his mother- you have taken care of him since he was two months old. You're the only family he remembers having- we're the only family he's ever remembered having. That's what you tell them."

I took a deep breath, nodded and held Anne closer to me, tears welling up in my eyes. "Dad has one month."

Ginny visibly swallowed hard. "I'm so sorry, Hermione."

"Me too." I said, a tear slipping down my cheek. "I'm done complaining about how unfair things are because no matter what I say, they won't change."

"I wish I could do something." She said, her voice sounding strained.

"Me too, Ginny." I said, closing my eyes, more tears slipping out. "Me too."

* * *

When my phone rang and I saw that it was Pansy calling, dread immediately coursed through my veins and my fingers trembled as I answered the call. One of the children at the orphanage had fallen sick and I had been asked to stay an extra few hours- but my baby-sitter Caroline was not free and the only person I could find on such short notice to pick Roland up was Pansy. And she never voluntarily used her cell phone unless it was really urgent.

"Pansy? What is it?" I asked quickly.

"Hermione, Roland was sleeping but he suddenly began shaking and when I touched his forehead, he was burning up and he keeps waking up and falling asleep but I'm really scared because this is a really unusual fever if it is one and-"

"Pansy! Pansy, breathe!" I interrupted her, trying to calm myself down.

"What do I do? I don't think it's safe to floo him or apparate him, is it?"

"No! No, don't do either of those!" I said. "I have no access to a floo network and getting to the hospital wings will take me too long- I need you to floo call Mungo's emergency ward and tell them that Roland Granger needs medical attention- the three healers that they send will know exactly what to do, okay? Please just hold yourself together for my son, Pansy. And try and keep him awake!"

"O-okay. I'll do that."

"I'll be home in a few minutes." I cut the call and rushed up to the lady who was in charge for today and quickly told her that Roland was sick and that I had to go and she granted me permission- not like I wouldn't have left without it.

I apparated home as soon as I was out of Mungo's and landed in my living room in time to see the lime-coloured robes of Roland's personal healers disappearing up the stairs. I dropped my belongings on the floor and sprinted up the stairs after them. They all entered Ro's room and Pansy moved away from the bed and as soon as she saw me, hugged me tightly, shaking a bit, but otherwise alright.

"I'm so sorry, Hermione! I don't know what happened!" She said and I pulled away, nodding. I watched the healers bustling around the room, carrying out the usual procedure that they did whenever Roland had one of these attacks.

"Hermione, what's going on?" Pansy asked, staring at the scene in front of us with wide eyes. I couldn't answer. She grabbed my arm and pulled me out of the room and into the corridor. "What just happened? I've never seen something like this before and why-" She paused to breathe deeply in. "Why is Roland registered in Mungo's emergency ward?"

I closed my eyes and leaned my back against the corridor wall.

"Why does he have three personal healers who seem to know this place better than I do?" She asked, grabbing my shoulder. She shook me. "Hermione? What is going on?" Her voice hitched. "Does this- does this have something to do with why Harry refused to want to go on that mission? Why he said he'd rather stay with you and Roland? Hermione, please!" I pursed my lips together, feeling tears build up behind my eyes. I was so tired...

"Hermione, I've been in your life for five months and I'm not going anywhere any time soon! I love Roland like family! I deserve to know if- if something's wrong."

"Ask me." I whispered, opening my eyes and looking at her.

"What?"

"Ask me what you want to ask." I said, blinking the tears out of my eyes.

She stared at me, looking like her face would crumble at any moment. "Is Roland sick?" My silence was all she needed as an answer. "Oh Merlin." Tears welled up in her eyes and her back hit the wall beside me. "How- how long does-" She couldn't finish the sentence and she didn't need to.

"He has five months."

"Oh Merlin." Her hand flew to her mouth and her knees hit the ground, tears pouring rapidly down her cheeks. "No... No, this isn't- this isn't possible... You're- He's- Oh my..." She gasped for breath, her fingers slipping through her hair and pulling at the roots. "Roland...He can't-" And she doubled over, her hair sweeping the floor and her forehead inches away from the ground as she wrapped her arms around her stomach and broke down sobbing.

I stood there beside her, wanting to comfort her but knowing that it would not help at all. Nothing, in situations like this, can help. Nothing can be done to ease the pain. The pain does not ease, not in a week, not in a month. It just builds up slowly but surely as you get closer and closer to the inevitable. What comes after? I'm yet to find out. I never want to, of course. But that's the thing with the inevitable. By definition, it is unavoidable. No matter what you do, you have no choice but to someday find out what comes after.

So I stood there while Pansy cried out everything she had within her and continued to even after that. Stood there while the healers worked with Roland. Stood there thinking about how suddenly, I didn't care anymore that the world knew that Roland was my son. How I wanted them to know. I was proud of how strong he was- how strong he continued to be. He was my own strength, my hope, my love, my everything. He was my son. And he would forever be.


	4. Chapter 4

**Hey readers! Welcome back to another chapter! I've got the next one planned out as well so I can't wait till I get it to you! Thank you justanotherfangirl0509, Whatever-happens, SparkiusMaximus, Lucy, tris-everdeen99 and guests for reviewing! And to everyone who followed and favourited- you guys are all amazing (:**

**Do enjoy this one and please review! xx**

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After that monday evening, Pansy had stayed the night and offered to take care of Roland the next day since he was made to stay at home for the next two days after his attack. I had no objections, knowing that she just needed some time alone with Roland and away from others. She didn't meet Ron, Harry or Ginny the entire week, promising dinner at her house on friday and I had to let them know that I had told her about Roland. She had been quiet the entire week and spent most of her time staring at Roland with a distraught look in her eyes that I had grown extremely familiar with in the past fourteen months. It was the same look I saw in my own eyes every time I looked in the mirror. On tuesday and wednesday when she fell asleep on our couch, just curling up and burying her face in a cushion she clutched tightly to her chest, I covered her with a blanket and let her be. She was grieving and if this even remotely helped her, I would not stop her.

So on friday evening, I was the first to reach her house with Roland for dinner and helped her with anything she needed. She had cooked more dishes than usual, everything organised and prepared with utmost precision. Another coping mechanism I recognised from my own set. I helped her set the dining table and when Ginny arrived, we sat together in silence, knowing there was nothing to be said. When Ron arrived, she didn't get up to hug him and I shook my head at him, telling her to just give her the time she needed.

Harry arrived and unfortunately, Malfoy came right with him. Harry began speaking about work and Ron and Malfoy joint in, sensing that conversation had to start somewhere or the other. Ginny joint in and eventually so did I. They were light topics- about work and about the Ministry politics and of course, Quidditch. The conversation carried on through dinner and it didn't go past anybody's notice that Malfoy kept staring at Pansy curiously, his eyebrows furrowed as he tried to figure out why his best friend was unusually quiet and withdrawn.

It was after dinner when she finally moved on her own and finally said something. And it was when Roland ran through the living room's open space and tripped on the carpet. Pansy shot to her feet and was next to him in a flash, helping him up and holding his face in her hands.

"Are you okay, Ro?" She asked, her shoulders heaving as she sat on her knees in front of him.

"I just falled, Aunty Pansy." He said, rubbing his knee.

"I- yeah, of course. I was just-" She stammered. He smiled at her and pulled out of her touch and went to sit on Harry's lap, rubbing his eyes. Pansy remained where she was, staring at Roland.

"Pansy." I said, cutting through the thick silence. She turned her head towards me slowly, blinking. I shook my head, telling her silently not to cry. Not here in front of Roland. "Come to the kitchen with me." I stood up and she got to her feet unsteadily and followed me to the kitchen. She leaned against the island and breathed deeply.

"You can't do that, Pansy. Not in front of Roland. He's going to realise something is wrong and he's going to start asking questions soon." I said softly. "I know it's difficult- god, do I know it- he's my son. But you have to hold it together in front of him. Today he fell on the carpet- tomorrow he could fall on the stairs- but you can't react like you did today."

She nodded, her head bent. Her voice came out hoarse when she spoke- "I know. I'm sorry."

"Pansy." I turned to see Ron at the kitchen doorway. When Pansy didn't move, he went close to her and wrapped his arms around her stomach, pulling her back against his chest. It took her three seconds to break down and when she did, she turned in his embrace and pressed her face into his shoulder, her whole body racking with sobs. "Okay, I got you." He whispered, holding on to her tightly. And all of a sudden, I wanted to leave as soon as possible. Because I would never have that- I would never have what Pansy had. What Ginny had. I would never have someone for me as they had Ron and Harry. I had not been with anyone since I adopted Roland and whoever I had been with had left me because being with a single parent was too difficult for them. After I found out about Roland's illness, I had basically given up hope on finding someone. My son needed me and I needed to be there for him- no distractions, no nothing. I couldn't be selfish. And nobody would stick around with me after finding out about Roland- they would leave because they wouldn't be able to handle what came after those five months.

I left the kitchen, the sound of crying behind me. I reached the living room and began collecting Roland's things and mine. "We should leave", I said. Ginny and Harry nodded while Malfoy stared at me, his eyebrows drawn together. I shouldered my bag and took a sleeping Roland from Harry's arms. Pansy had disconnected her floo network seven months ago when she had moved back to Britain and began receiving hate-mail and threats from people who still hated every thing and everyone related to the dark side. Ron had been assigned to ward her house and though he was reluctant at first because of what the dark side had done to his family- to Fred and to Harry, it was his job and he had to do it. Then she had landed up at Harry's office on one of the days and apologised for everything she had done but he had shaken his head and told her that we all did what we had to to survive. Once Harry had forgiven her, Ron eased up a little bit and when Harry invited her for one of our dinners, things only got better for the two of them from then onwards.

I left the house and headed towards the street that would take me to the main road where I could take a taxi home from. The others were apparating home, I didn't want to with Roland. Somehow, not anymore. If there was a risk of apparating with him, I wasn't going to test it.

"Granger!" I did my best not to growl out loud.

"What?" I asked, without turning around.

"Stop a moment!" I didn't. He ran to catch up and then came to a stop in front of me, his silver-blonde hair windswept. "What just happened?"

"What are you talking about?" I dead-panned.

"Don't play stupid- you know exactly what I'm talking about. With your son in there- Pansy never cries, you understand me? She's one of the toughest girls I know."

"It's none of your business, Malfoy."

"Pansy IS my business!" He spat.

"She's going through a bad time."

"I would be the first to know if she was going through a bad time- I'm her best friend." He said. "It's something more."

"Well then, some best friend you are." I said, staring harshly at him. "Just a piece of advice, however- don't ask her what's wrong. You won't get an answer."

"She will tell me."

"No she won't. Mind your own business." I said, confident that Pansy wouldn't tell anybody unless I let her.

"She's closer to me than she is to you. I know this has something to do with your boy-" He nodded towards Roland "-and I will find out what it is."

"You will find out nothing." I said, finally stepping around him to keep walking towards the main road.

"I will, Granger. Mark my words- I will find out what's going on. And when I do, you'll be the first one I come to with the news that I know whatever dirty little secret you have hidden."

"Good luck, Malfoy." I said, my voice carrying through the empty street back to him. Unfortunately I didn't feel as confident as I hoped I sounded. What if he DID find out?

* * *

"Roland, stay right here, okay?" I said firmly.

"I will, Mummy." He said, shifting to a comfortable seat in the reception of St Mungo's.

"Don't worry, Hermione- we'll look after him." I turned to the receptionists- Pamella and Irene, who had grown fond of Roland over the past few months- and shot them a grateful smile.

"Be good, Roland- and don't talk to strangers." I said before standing up and going to Roland's healer-in-charge, who was a fifty year-old healer and had been working at Mungo's for the past twenty-seven years. I knocked on the door and entered. "Good morning, Healer David."

"Good morning, Miss Granger." He smiled at me, looking up from a file he had in front of him. "Take a seat please." I sat down at the desk, folding my arms over the top. "I looked at all the reports from monday's attack and it really should not have taken place. Judging from today morning's tests, nothing too serious has changed from last month's tests."

"What exactly was it? It wasn't like his other attacks- those are usually high fevers, fainting, troubled sleep- not physically shaking." I asked.

"Well his illness is slowly making him weaker as you know and though this was a rare occurrence, I believe it's another effect of his body growing tired. His-" Healer David cleared his throat and I knew this wasn't going to be easy, "-His organs are slowly deteriorating and the reports showed the attack having something to do with his stomach so the closest we can get to an answer at this point is that a hormone of some sort that shouldn't have been released was released and it lead to an immediate fever and physical shaking."

"That's unusual, though." I stated.

"It is." He nodded. "As we get closer to- as the five months get close to an end, unusual fevers and side-effects are going to occur."

"How often?" I asked, swallowing hard. "How much does it hurt him?"

"Right now, I'd say once in 6 weeks but by the time the fifth month comes around, it may be twice or thrice a month." He said. "They will feel like normal fevers to him up until the fourth month after which it will begin hurting- his recovery time will get slower and slower too."

Tears burned my eyes but I blinked them back and nodded. "Okay." Healer David reached over the table and placed his hand on mine.

"I'm sorry, Hermione. I really wish there was something I could do for him." Healer David had been the one fourteen months ago who had delivered the news of Ro's sickness to me. I had drawn my wand and held it to his throat, threatening to finish him if he didn't save my son. He had calmly stood there, telling me there was nothing he could do and that he was sorry, until I had dropped my wand and broken down. Ginny took Roland home for the weekend when I asked her to with no questions about the tears running down my cheeks and when Harry came to check on me that night and found me lying on the living room carpet, crying, he lay down beside me and held me tightly, not moving or speaking until I was ready to. The first thing I said came six hours later, in the early hours of that saturday, and after what I think were years, Harry cried. When Ginny returned with Roland the next night, I told her as well. She threw up everything she had eaten for dinner before proceeding to destroy the bathroom. Ron reacted in a similar way to Ginny the next day except it was his own bedroom that he wrecked.

"Thank you. You're doing everything you can to make this easier on him and that's all I can ask from you." He nodded and released my hand and I stood up to leave.

I left his office and returned to the reception to the most unexpected sight. Roland sat exactly where I had left him, flipping through a picture book and of all people, Malfoy sat beside him, looking over his little shoulder and at the book, his arm around the back of Roland's seat. I struggled to find anything to say and stood there, my mouth opening and closing like a fish.

"He went and sat there when a strange looking man was giving Roland creepy looks." My head snapped to the right where Irene was watching the two as well. "We would have gone and picked Ro up, of course, if anything were to happen- but we didn't have to."

"How long has he been sitting there?" I asked.

"About five minutes."

"Did he ask Roland anything?"

"Just what he was doing there. Roland replied he was waiting for his mum and that he just had his monthly check-up."

I sighed, running a hand over my face. I couldn't even blame the kid for mentioning his monthly check-up to the blonde. "Thanks, Irene." I walked towards Roland and stopped in front of the pair. Both looked up at the same time.

"Hey, Ro, ready to go home?" I asked, pointedly ignoring Malfoy, no matter how loudly my heart was telling me to say a quick thank-you to him for keeping strange men away from my son.

"Yes." He said, hopping off the seat. He stopped to look at the man who had been sitting beside him. "Goodbye, Mister Maffoy."

"See ya, kid." He said. He then looked at me. "Monthly check-up, Granger?"

"I told you to stick to your own business." I said, taking Roland's hand and walking away.

"I didn't talk to him to find things out." He called after me. I was too busy fearing the worst to believe him- he didn't seem to have been kidding when he said he would find out. What if it wasn't long before he did?

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**Do review please! xx **


	5. Chapter 5

**Hey guys! Sorry for the late update- I had this chapter ready but didn't have the time to upload it- school's been super busy unfortunately. Enjoy this one! It's quite a light chapter compared to the others :) x**

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The crowd in Diagon Alley that sunday was pretty bad. I needed to pick up some supplies for the orphanage and Roland insisted on coming along- on top of which, he refused to be carried. After a lot of arguing, he said he'd hold on tightly to me and I agreed reluctantly. I knew I shouldn't have because within five minutes after collecting the supplies and stepping off the pavement, Roland's hold on my coat disappeared. I spun around the moment I felt it gone and looked around frantically.

"Roland?!" I cried, trying to spot him. How far could he possibly have gone within a few seconds? "Roland!" I pushed through the crowd in the direction I hoped he had gone, calling his name loudly. "Oh god," I mumbled, panic beginning to flood through my veins. This was not happening. I kept moving around the area, asking people if they had seen a little boy with brown hair but nobody had and those who apparently had, all pointed me in different directions. I ended up running to George's jokeshop, bursting through the doors in hope that he had gone there.

"George?" I called, running to the counter and hitting the bell frantically. He appeared from the backroom and as soon as he saw me, ran up to me.

"Hermione? What's wrong?"

Tears welled up in my eyes and I found it hard to breathe. "Ro-Roland ran off and I- I can't find him. Did he come here?"

"No, he didn't." He said, concern flooding his eyes. He raised his hands to wipe away my tears. "Hey, calm down, okay? He's going to be fine! We'll find him!"

"What if we don't? What if something awful has happened to him? I can't-"

"Nothing has happened to him!" George said firmly, holding onto my shoulders. "Come on, we'll go out and find him or we'll alert the Auror department. Okay?"

I took a deep breath and nodded, my hands shaking when he grabbed one of them and pulled me out of the store, yelling for one of his assistants to take over.

We ran through the streets, moving from shop to shop, asking anyone who was wiling to listen if they had seen Roland. I received the same responses as before.

"George, what do I do?" I asked, holding my head in my hands.

"Just hang in there- no one wants to hurt him, Hermione. He'll be around somewhere we haven't checked yet." He opened his mouth to suggest a place when a silvery form moving towards us caught our attention. A wolf patronus stopped in front of us and a voice sounded from it-

"Your son is with me in Florean Fortescue's Parlour." I breathed out, relieved, but then it hit me that I didn't know whose patronus it was and-

"Hermione, it can't be someone who wants to hurt him if he's telling you where they are." George interrupted my thoughts. I considered that and nodded. "Come on." He pulled me towards Florean Fortescue's and the moment we stepped into the parlour, I felt like I could finally breathe again. Roland was sitting at one of the tables with a certain somebody who I had been seeing a bit too much recently. I should have been annoyed but at that moment, all I could be was thankful that my son was safe. My legs carried me till their table and I fell to my knees in front of Roland- who abandoned his ice cream cup and threw his arms around my neck. I hugged him back tightly, tears spilling down my cheeks.

"Thank god, Roland! I was so worried! Thank god you're safe! I don't know what I would've done if anything had happened to you!" I whispered, holding him tightly.

"I'm sorry, mummy- I saw a little kitty and- he was scared and hurt but- I'm sorry, mummy," He whimpered into my shoulder. I rubbed his back and pulled away, holding his face in my hands and wiping away his tears.

"It's okay, baby. I'm just glad you're safe." I said, wiping my own tears with my sleeve.

"Mister Maffoy found me and said he'd find you." Ro said quietly and I finally looked up at the blonde who looked back at us when he heard his name. Or what Roland pronounced his name as anyway.

"Thank you." I said sincerely. Because despite everything that had happened prior to this, he had saved my son. And that didn't just count for little- it counted for everything.

"Ready to go home, Roland?" I asked, looking at Ro, who was finishing up his ice-cream. He nodded and I stood up, taking out some money and putting it on the table. "Thank you for the ice-cream, Malfoy." He nodded again and I left with Roland, without a look back at the man, though I noticed George shaking hands with him before I left.

I took Roland home after thanking George and when we reached our living room, both of us slumped onto the sofa, exhausted. I looked at him and frowned when I saw that he looked sad.

"What's wrong, buddy?"

"Before Mister Maffoy came, a big man was holding my arm and it hurted. But Mister Maffoy hit him and took me away. I'm sorry I ran away, mummy. I could've gotten more hurted. I'm sorry."

"I'm just glad you're okay, Ro." I said softly, pulling him onto my lap. I was surprised to hear about Malfoy saving his life though. "Was Mister Malfoy good to you?"

"He was very nice. He bought me ice-cream and made me stop crying."

"I'm glad he did that, baby." I said. "I was really worried about you."

"Why does Mister Maffoy come alone to the dinners? And why was he alone at Dagon Alley?"

I sighed. "He doesn't have someone like Uncle Harry and Uncle Ron do, I think."

"Like you?" I laughed.

"Who said I'm alone? I have you, don't I?" I asked, tickling his sides. He laughed and caught my hands with his little fingers.

"So he's alone? Does he feel sad?" I sighed again. My son was asking me whether Malfoy was lonely and sad. What was I supposed to say?

"Maybe, Ro," I settled on saying.

"We can be his friends." Roland said, perking up and turning around on my lap to look at me. I wanted to close my eyes and groan. The last thing I wanted to do was be friends with Malfoy. "Maybe we can make him a cake. He might be happy then." No scratch that- the last thing I wanted to do was bake Malfoy a cake.

"Maybe he doesn't like cake."

Roland stared at me as if I had gone a little mad. "Everyone likes cake," He stated in a voice that reminded me of myself in Hogwarts- one that Ron called my 'know-it-all voice'.

"Do you seriously want to bake him a cake?" I asked, hoping he changed his mind.

"Yes. You always tell me we should do nice things to thank people." He said. Well, I had said that when I didn't think it would bite me right in the back!

"Why can't we just bake a cake for ourselves?"

"Because we're happy. And you said you have me. Mister Maffoy doesn't-"

"Have anybody. Okay, fine." I said, huffing. "Is that what you want to do this evening?" He nodded enthusiastically and shaking my head, I stood up, pulling Ro up with me. "Let's get started then." He grinned and ran to the kitchen and I trudged slowly after him. The next two hours was spent basically making a mess of the kitchen as the two of us usually did when attempting to bake. I wasn't great at it and Roland was- well, four. But we made do with what we could and it was fun- which is all that mattered. Who cared if Malfoy couldn't stomach the cake, right?

"Do you think he'll like it?" Roland asked, swinging his legs from his position on top of the kitchen counter.

"I'm sure he will. Are you SURE you want to give it to him?" I asked for the hundredth time and I sounded more like a four year old than Ro did.

"Yes, mummy." He said, rolling his eyes at me.

"Don't roll your eyes at me, young man!" I scolded lightly. "I can't believe we're baking a cake for him."

"Who are you baking a cake for?" I spun around, my hand on my heart, as Ginny strolled into the kitchen.

"God, Ginny! Can you warn us before entering the house and giving me a heart-attack?" I breathed.

She winked at me and went to lean against the table beside Roland. "Now who are you baking a cake for?"

"Nobody." I muttered.

"Mister Maffoy." Roland said happily and I groaned out loud. Ginny would never let me live this one down.

"Mister Maffoy?" Ginny asked, grinning madly. She turned to me, an eyebrow raised. "Mister Maffoy? Why is that?"

"Because mummy said it was a nice thing to do." Ro said, licking his fingers.

"When I said it initially, I forgot to mention that it didn't apply to Malfoys." I mumbled, washing my hands.

Ginny laughed loudly. "Why exactly are you being nice to him?"

"I'm not." I clarified. I pointed to my son- "He is."

"Why?"

"Malfoy may or may not have saved Roland from getting himself hurt and lost." I said. Ginny's eyes widened.

"Is that so?"

"Roland, go to the bathroom and get your clothes off- you need a bath. Don't touch anything on the way." I said and helped Roland off the counter. He ran off and I turned to Ginny again. "As thankful as I am to Merlin for making sure my son was safe, couldn't he have made the person who saved Ro some knight-in-shining-armour?"

"Is that not what Malfoy is?"

I scoffed. "Try loser-in-tin-foil."

"That's a bit mean." Ginny commented.

"No- you know what's mean? Having to bake a cake for him! Why couldn't Roland have written him a thank-you card instead which I could've sent by owl post instead of having to actually deliver it to his house?"

"If he saved your son, he can't be that bad, Hermione." Ginny said, sighing.

"He did it to find out what I'm keeping hidden." I said. She raised a questioning eyebrow. "He asked me why Pansy was crying and the other day he found out I brought Roland for monthly check-ups to Mungo's."

"He's going to be around for a while, 'Mione." She said softly. "He's going to find out eventually. He's not going to mock you about it, you know."

"It's Malfoy, he-"

"No, Hermione!" She interrupted me, crossing her arms over her chest. "How long are you going to use that excuse for? That he's the same Malfoy that called you mudblood and he's the same Malfoy who joined the death-eaters- the same Malfoy that he was 10 years ago? Look how much has changed for you. You became an Auror, had to make the toughest decisions on a two month mission, took care of a child without knowing how to for a month, adopted the same child and were thrown into a mess for the next two years as you struggled to be a mother all of a sudden and by the time that was over and you finally got used to it- you know what happened. And then you changed again because nothing made sense anymore- all you wanted to do was be with Roland yet... Hermione-" She took my hand in her's, "I'm not saying this because I care for Malfoy- I'm saying this because I care for YOU. Let go. Let go of all that hatred because he doesn't deserve it. You don't deserve it in your life- let go! Things are hard enough without all that hate and anger- do you really need it?"

When I said nothing, she lowered her voice and placed her hand on my shoulders, continuing. "He not only saved Roland, he saved Harry. Don't both of those count for something? Harry told me what happened on the mission- he was being controlled by a dark force and would've died if Malfoy hadn't tracked the man controlling the force and killed him. He could've left him there, Hermione. Told the aurors that it was too late- that he couldn't get to Harry or the man in time but no, he risked his own life to save him. You can't tell me that doesn't count for something."

I swallowed hard and looked away from Ginny's eyes. It did count for something. It counted for a lot. But how can I be comfortable with someone who was threatening my son and I?

"Mummy! Are you coming?"

Roland's yell snapped me back to the present and I stepped away from Ginny. "I'll come meet you sometime later and tell you how delivering the cake to Malfoy goes." She nodded, her shoulders slumping, and I left the kitchen to get to my son.

* * *

"I cannot believe I'm doing this. Okay, Ro- the one and only rule- you do the talking and we leave the second you're done saying thank-you. Deal?" I bent down in front of him on the porch and stuck my hand out.

"Deal." Roland said, shaking my hand firmly. I then straightened up and taking a deep breath, rang the bell. It took him a minute or two but the door finally swung open and Malfoy stood on the other side, his hair damp and messy and his white polo wrongly buttoned. We had clearly interrupted his shower.

I stifled a laugh and he stared at me, completely confused and shocked. Oh, right. We arrived uninvited. I nudged Roland forward.

"Hi, Mister Maffoy." He said and Malfoy bent down to his eye-level.

"Hey, buddy. What brings you here?" He asked with a tenderness in his voice that surprised me greatly.

"We maked you a cake." He said, holding out the circular cake-box in his hands. Malfoy's eyes widened and he glanced up at me. I shrugged.

"Why did you bake me a cake?" He asked, looking again at Roland.

"Because it's a thank-you for helping me. Mummy said we should." He said. My jaw dropped open and I dropped to Ro's eye level like Malfoy had done.

"Roland Granger, how many times have I told you not to lie?" I exclaimed, mortified that Malfoy now thought I wanted to bake a cake for him.

"But you said to be nice to people who help us." He said, his eyebrows drawing together.

"Yes but you wanted to bake a cake for Mister Malfoy, not me!" I said and then realized what a child I sounded like. I cleared my throat and looked away, huffing.

"Well you didn't have to bake a cake for me either way." Malfoy said, smiling slightly. I looked at him and his smile and frowned. Was he really smiling?

"Don't you like cake?" Roland frowned. "Or chocolate?"

Malfoy chuckled and the sound startled me. "I love both, kid. Thank you." He took the box from Roland and stood up. I did as well. "Thanks, Granger."

I nodded, trying not to look at him.

"That looks like a big house- may I see it?" Roland suddenly asked, peering through the gap between Malfoy's figure and the doorframe.

"Roland, that's not polite. I'm sure Mister Mafloy has important things to do." I scolded lightly.

"I was just going to watch some telly actually- nothing important." He shrugged. Telly? Malfoy owned a television? Malfoy owned muggle technology?

"Then I can come and see your house?" Roland grinned.

"Sure." Malfoy said.

"Malfoy, you don't have to agree because he's a kid- I'm sure you're busy and-"

"What, Granger? Don't tell me you're afraid that my house is just full of evil traps for unsuspecting visitors? Because I can assure you- it is." He smirked. I closed my eyes and breathed deeply, counting to ten in my head.

"Can we, Mummy?" Roland asked and it had me wishing that one, my kid wasn't always so curious and two, he didn't sound so damn sweet while asking for something so completely frustrating.

"Fine." I muttered. Roland grinned and Malfoy opened the door for us to enter. I looked around and was surprised to see a living room as simple as ours- in fact, the layout of the entire first floor was similar to our's.

"It's like our house, isn't it, mummy?" Ro asked and I nodded.

"It's quite similar, yes."

"Mister Maffoy-" He asked, looking up at Malfoy when he returned from the kitchen without the cake box. "Do you have a cub'board under the stairs?" I barked out a laugh and the confused blonde looked at me, raising an eyebrow.

"I don't I'm afraid, why?" He asked Roland.

"Uncle Harry used to live in one." Roland answered simply, moving towards the staircase.

"Potter lived under a staircase?" Malfoy asked me, trying to wrap his head around the concept.

"Until he was eleven, yes." I said. "Ever since he told Roland about it, the kid's been asking the owner of every new house we go to if they own a cupboard under the stairs."

"Just when I thought Potter couldn't get weirder." Malfoy said shaking his head, though the corner of his mouth tilted upwards a bit.

Roland was halfway up the stairs and we moved forward to catch up with him.

"Ro, maybe we should go home." I said when we reached the second floor. The corridor stretched on to the right and the left, three doors on each side.

"Avoiding the possibility that Roland might fall through a dark time portal when he opens one of the doors?" Malfoy asked, smirking.

"You have no idea how right you are." I said as Roland opened the doors when Malfoy's help, peering into each one of them one by one.

"Not that one, Roland!" Malfoy suddenly said, stopping him before he could open the last door on the right- the one furthest from us.

I raised an eyebrow. "Dark time portal through there?"

He smirked at me- "Just my mother actually."

"Your mother lives with you?" I asked.

"A boy needs his mother, don't you agree, kid?" He asked, ruffling Roland's hair. Roland grinned and nodded.

"May I meet her?" He asked.

"Roland," I groaned. "Maybe we should head home, baby."

"Draco?" A tired female voice called from inside the room just then.

"Excuse me, please." Malfoy said, opening the door and stepping inside. "Yes, mother?"

"Is it just my fever or do I hear voices outside?" Narcissa Malfoy's voice floated out to us. Malfoy opened the door further and stepped aside. His mother sat on the bed, a book in her hands. A lot of time had passed and she had aged gracefully, still looking quite as regal as she used to. "You remember Hermione Granger, don't you?"

"Of course, a pleasure to see you after so long, Miss Granger." She smiled warmly at me. I smiled as genuinely as I could back at her.

"You too, ."

"Please- call me Narcissa." She waved her hand dismissively. "And whose this sweetheart?" She turned her eyes to Roland, who was looking back at her with curious eyes.

"This is my son, Roland." I said. "Roland, do you wanna say hi?"

"Hi." Roland said. "You're pretty."

"Why, thank you, dear." Narcissa said, smiling.

"We should be going." I said. "Thank you for having us over but it's getting quite late."

"Can we come back?" Roland asked, turning from Narcissa to Malfoy.

Before I could say anything, Narcissa spoke- "You know what? I think I'd like that. A silly old lady like me get's bored very often alone."

"Mother-" Malfoy hesitated. "I'm not sure Granger would be alright with that." Three pairs of eyes landed on me. Great.

"I-" I searched for the right thing to say. "I'll have to think about it. Roland, let's go home, okay? We've been here for quite some time."

"Okay." Roland said, taking my hand and waving at the older woman with his free hand. "Bye, ."

"Goodbye, darling." She said, waving back. We headed back to the door, Malfoy escorting us. We stepped out onto the porch.

"Thank you, Malfoy." I said. "I hope we weren't much of a bother."

"Not at all. It's nice to have people around for once." He said. He bent down and held his hand out to Roland. "It was nice having you over, buddy. Thanks for the cake." Roland shook his hand, grinning.

"I'll see you again, won't I?"

" 'Course you will. You can't get rid of me that easily." He smiled, ruffling Ro's hair and standing up. "See you around, Granger."

I spent the rest of the evening wondering if Ginny had been right. Could Malfoy really have changed? If I hadn't believed it before, maybe I was one step closer to believing it now.

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**I hope you liked that one! Please please review xx**


	6. Chapter 6

**Hi everyone! I'm so sorry for the late update! I've been REALLY REALLY busy with 11th grade- final term and it is CRAZY busy :| But I just got an opening before another busy next week so here we are! **

**tris-everdeen99: Thank you so much for all your lovely words and THANK YOU for pointing our mistakes, really! I will go about fixing them as soon as i get the time! you're amazing xx :)**

**Thank you Lil Wolf Syaoran 23, potterhead27, justanotherfangirl0509, Whatever-happens, and all the guests who reviewed- you guys are brilliant**

**Enjoy this one- there are quite a few Dramione moments in there ;) x**

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I flopped down on the couch beside Roland, yawning.

"You feeling okay, buddy?" I asked, noticing that he didn't look as excited as he usually did on friday evenings before our weekly dinner with the others.

"Yes." He said softly. "Is Mister Maffoy coming today?"

I sighed. "Honey, Mister Malfoy and I aren't friends."

"But I'm his friend, right?"

"Of course you are." I said, putting my arm around his shoulders and pulling him against my side. "How about we call one of your friends tonight and you can have fun with them?"

"No one will come." He said, sadly.

I frowned. "What are you talking about? We can call Josh."

"Josh wasn't nice to me. Nobody was nice to me this week."

My eyes widened with shock and I lifted Ro up and sat him on my lap facing me. "What happened?"

"When the teachers weren't listening, they were saying I was in the Prophet and that I didn't have a daddy because only my mummy loved me and-" Tears were welling up in his eyes and a tide of sadness washed over me. After the article about Roland had come out, we had reporters outside our house for two days before I finally called in a reporter I could trust and the next day, the actual story was printed on the front cover of the Prophet. We were still sent pitiful glances on the streets and we were sometimes stared at by strangers on the road and all I could do was tell Roland to ignore them.

"Hey." I said, wiping away his tears with my thumbs. "Of course your Mummy loves you but I'm not the only one- Uncle Harry and all love you so much and your grandparents and-"

"But why don't I have a daddy like others do? Is something wrong with me?"

"We spoke about this." I said softly, my heart breaking for the boy in front of me. "Not everyone has a daddy and a mommy. But that doesn't mean anything's wrong with you. Everyone loves you so much- don't think for even a moment that they don't. Why didn't you tell me that Josh and all were not being nice to you?"

"Because you were already sad. I didn't want to make you sadder." He said in a whisper and tears rose to my eyes. I pulled him towards me and hugged him tightly, kissing his head.

"I need you to tell me if something's wrong, okay?" I said, tears falling. "I'm sad because your grandpa isn't feeling well but if you're sad then that's going to make me more sad."

He nodded against my shoulder and we sat like that, clinging onto each other for a few minutes before I realised the others would be here in a couple of minutes and we needed to get the dining table in the kitchen ready. So I stood up with Ro and took him to the kitchen where we began getting the plates and glasses ready. Harry, Ron, Ginny and Pansy arrived within the next few minutes and dinner began. I noticed, however, that Roland had barely touched his food.

"Honey, you need to eat." I said. Everyone turned to him and he shook his head. "Why don't you want to eat? Aren't you hungry?" He shook his head again. "You haven't eaten since five, you must be hungry. Do you not like the pasta?"

"What's going on, Ro?" Ginny asked, nudging him.

"Nothing." Roland said, picking up his fork but making no move to use it.

I huffed and pushed my chair behind. There was only one reason for his behaviour and therefore only one easy way to fix it. I excused myself and went to make a floo call. Finally, I was looking into Malfoy's living room.

"Granger?" He asked, kneeling down in front the fire.

"I know this is a lot to ask but Roland- he's-"

"What is it? Is he okay?" Malfoy asked.

"Yes- he's okay. He just wanted you to come for dinner today with the others and I think he's upset because you're not here."

"I wasn't exactly invited." He said.

"I know." I sighed. "I was just wondering, for Ro's sake, if- if you'd like to come over for dinner."

"You want me to come have dinner with you?"

"The others are here as well and- fine, maybe this was a bad idea. I'll just- sorry for bothering you."

"Go for the boy's sake, Draco." I heard Narcissa say and I assumed she was in the living room with her son.

"I'll come over, Granger- give me access to your floo."

"Of course." I said. I disconnected the call and changed my wards to allow Malfoy through and in a few moments, he was stepping through my fireplace, dressed in a dark blue t-shirt and khaki shorts which he brushed down as he stepped out into the living room. "Thank you for coming." I said and lead him to the kitchen. "Hey, Ro- look whose here." Roland looked up and his eyes widened and became instantly brighter at the sight of Malfoy. Judging by the expressions on the faces of the other four adults, they were surprised to see the youngest Malfoy and even more surprised to see how Roland reacted to him.

"Mister Maffoy!"

"Hey buddy." Malfoy said and sat down beside him. In my seat. Ginny opened her mouth to say so but before she could, the phone in the kitchen rang and I went to answer it.

"Hello?" I said.

"Hermione?" It was my mother. And she didn't sound good.

"What's wrong, mum?" I immediately asked.

"It's your father." She whispered.

"What happened to him?" I asked, fear washing over me.

"He had a breathlessness attack." She said.

"Mum, the others are over for dinner and I'm in the kitchen. Give me a few seconds- I'll call you from the phone in my room." I hung up and sprinted upstairs to call her back. "Yeah, mum. What happened?"

"He had an attack fifteen minutes ago and the nurse wasn't able to help him so we had to rush him to the hospital. I'm there right now and they just managed to get him breathing again."

"Oh, god." I said, my hand covering my mouth. "What are they saying?"

She took a deep, shuddering breath. "Two weeks at the most."

I squeezed my eyes shut and bit down on my lower lip when it began to tremble. "Mom..." I choked out.

"We knew it was coming, 'Mione. Just stay strong and come visit him as soon as you can."

"We'll be there tonight." I said.

"Come tomorrow. The doctors have done everything they can and he's okay for now. He's asleep. Come tomorrow when he'll be awake to see you and Ro."

"Tomorrow then." I promised. "Take care, mum. If you need anything- even for me to come tonight, tell me. I'll leave Ro with one of the others."

"Of course, dear. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Love you, mum."

"I love you too."

I let the phone slip from my fingers and onto the bed as I rubbed my face with my hands, forcing myself to breathe and calm down. I had guests downstairs. I took a few deep breaths and returned to the kitchen where everyone- save for Harry, who had gone to the bathroom- looked up as soon as I entered. I forced a smile before looking at Ro, who was eating his pasta with Malfoy's help. My eyes met his and gratitude swept over me. "Thank you," I mouthed and he nodded before turning back to his own dinner.

"Do you want to sit and eat, Hermione?" Ginny asked, gesturing to Harry's empty seat. "Harry's done eating and so are we."

"That's okay, Gin, I'm not hungry." I said, taking my plate to the sink and then returning for their's.

"It's almost nine and it's been a long week- I think I'm going to head home." Ginny said, standing up. I knew she was only doing it so I could deal with my emotions- something had clearly happened over the phone, they had realised. "Pansy? Ron?"

"Yeah, us too." Pansy said, helping me clear the table.

"It's fine- I'll do it." I quickly said. I needed things to do. I couldn't afford to cry in front of Roland or Malfoy. Both for different reasons. Pansy moved to help me anyway but Ron caught her arm and shook his head, knowing that even if I didn't want to do it, I just needed to.

Pansy squeezed my arm comfortingly and Ron kissed my cheek before they left. Ginny hugged me tightly, even though I didn't quite respond and started leaving when Harry walked through the kitchen.

"Are we leaving?" He asked, looking between Ginny and me.

"You're staying to help Hermione clean up." The read-head said, looking pointedly at him.

"He doesn't have to." I said, beginning to wash the dishes in the sink. This was obviously followed by some unspoken argument which resulted in Harry coming to stand next to me.

"You wash, I dry," He left no room for protests and I didn't have the energy so I nodded. Within the next few seconds, try as I might, I couldn't hold the tears back. "Hermione...what happened? Is it your dad?" He asked softly and I nodded, a tear slipping down my cheek. "Is he- is he- gone?" I shook my head, scrubbing the dish in my hands with all my remaining energy. Stay strong, Hermione, I scolded myself. "Did he have an attack?" I nodded, putting the dish under the running water and watching through a blurry vision the soap being rinsed away.

"Okay, kid- let's go wash your hands." I heard Malfoy say from behind us and chairs scraped against the kitchen floor as they left. Harry put the dish he was wiping dry on the cloth on the counter and placed his hand on my shoulder. I squeezed my eyes shut and the tears poured out onto my cheeks and dripped off to mix with the water in the sink. I felt him move his other hand and shut the tap off, leaving his hand there.

"Hermione." And I broke. I released a pained sob and he pulled me against him, wrapping his arms around my back. I pressed my face into his shoulder, my wet and soapy hands caught between us. "Let it out." And I did. I cried for my father. For my son. For the two weeks I had left with one of them and then the four months after that which I had with the other. And then what? Then I would be alone. So alone. It wouldn't just be an empty house. Everything would feel empty. Everything would be gone. And it just...hurt. That was it. It hurt. And there was nothing else to feel but the pain.

"Roland! Wait!" I heard Malfoy call and I froze in the circle of Harry's embrace. Roland couldn't see me like this. My son could NOT see me like this. I was pulling myself away from Harry when I heard him in the kitchen-

"Mummy?" I wiped at my eyes hastily before turning slowly, in time to see Malfoy reach the doorway of the kitchen behind Roland. I glanced at him and our eyes locked for a moment before I looked down at Roland and knelt down in front of him.

"Hey, baby." I said, placing my hand on his cheek.

"Why are you sad? Did I do something?" He asked in a small voice.

"No! No, not at all!" I said, shaking my head quickly. "Remember I told you that you're grandfather wasn't well? That he was ill? Honey, he's in the hospital right now. He's going to leave us in two weeks."

"Leave us? Where's he going to go? Will we ever see him again?"

I pursed my lips and bit down on the inside for a long second, trying to stem the tide of tears that wanted to break free. "He's going to a place called heaven. It's a happy and safe place and he won't hurt anymore. But we won't see him again, I'm afraid. Once someone goes there- they can't come back."

"Not even with magic?" He asked softly.

I shook my head, tears welling up in my eyes. "I wish, Ro. I wish magic was powerful enough to do that but it's not."

"When I grow up, will you leave me like that?"

I closed my eyes and the tears spilled out. The irony in his words struck me in the heart, shattering it into further uncountable pieces. 'When I grow up, will you leave me like that?'

"No, Roland, I promise you that I will NEVER leave you." I said, choking back a sob. "I promise."

"Grandpa won't be able to come to my birthday next week will he?" Roland asked, his eyes welling up with tears as well.

"No, baby, I'm so sorry." I said, wiping away his tears with my fingers.

"Then I don't want to have a party." He said. "If grandpa can't come, I don't want one anymore. I want to be with him because he won't be there for my birthday next year."

I pulled Roland into my arms and clutched him tightly, sobbing as I kissed his face and then buried my face into his hair, my tears soaking his shirt. But I didn't let go of him. I couldn't let go of him. So then when the time would come, how would I?

"I love you, Roland. I love you so much and I need you to always remember that no matter what happens, okay?" I whispered. He nodded.

"I love you too, mummy." I breathed him in before standing up.

"It's late," My voice came out choked. "Why don't you go upstairs and get ready for bed and I'll be right there?" Roland nodded and saying goodnight to Harry and Malfoy, left. I had almost forgotten that Malfoy was there.

"Do you want me to stay?" Harry asked, walking towards me.

I shook my head. "I'm sure Ginny's waiting, worried sick as she usually is, at your place. It's been a long day- go sleep." He nodded and hugged me tightly, kissing my forehead, before telling me to call him if I needed anything and leaving. I finally looked at Malfoy but before I could say anything, he spoke.

"Are you sick?"

"Excuse me?"

"Are you ill, Granger?" He asked, his expression serious. "Is that why Pansy was crying? Because she knew Roland would be alone soon?"

He was right- but he had just swapped over roles. "Malfoy, please." I begged. "Drop it. I'm not telling you- I'm asking you. No, I'm begging you. Please." He stared at me for a second before nodding. I was surprised and doubtful but didn't comment on it. "Thank you."

"Are you going to bake me another cake?" He asked and in the moment, I laughed slightly.

"Not for what happened in Diagon Alley. For everything you've done for Roland. Especially- dropping anything you were doing and coming here for him with the only explanation that he wanted to see you. There aren't a lot of people that I've known who have been so open. And thank you for taking him out of the kitchen earlier."

"Woah, there, Granger," He said, holding his palms up, facing me. "You sound like you're warming up to me- we don't want any misunderstandings here, do we? I get it- you're thankful- and you're welcome. But maybe, in a way, I'm doing this for myself. In case you've somehow miraculously forgotten- not a lot of people in Britain like me very much- even if he IS just four, your kid's giving me a chance. And I'm taking it." I nodded. "Take care, Granger." He said before leaving the kitchen. I heard the fireplace roar up and then everything was silent. I went upstairs to Roland's room and helped him get ready for bed.

"Are you and Mister Maffoy friends now?" He asked as I tucked him into my bed and sat down beside him.

"Not yet. But maybe some day we will be." I said honestly.

"Then he won't be alone." Ro said, rubbing his eyes. I doubted I'd be able to help fill any of Malfoy's loneliness but I wasn't going to say so and break my son's heart so I simply nodded. "That's good."

"Go to sleep, I'll be up in a few minutes." I said, kissing his forehead. "Goodnight. Love you, Ro."

"Love you too, mummy." He said, already half asleep. I stared at him, smoothening his hair away from his face, wishing that Malfoy had been right when he had asked if I was ill- I would trade places with my son in a heartbeat if I could.

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**And that's done. Please please please review- it would mean the world to me and genuinely help so much during this period of time in school! Love you guys 3**


	7. Chapter 7

**Hi Readers! I hope you enjoy this one! Thank you so much for your reviews/favourites/follows till now 3 Sit with tissues if you cry easily for this one! xx**

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The first thing I did the next morning was take Roland with me to the muggle hospital that my father had been admitted into. We walked into his room to find him sitting up in the hospital bed and reading.

"Hey, dad." I smiled, moving up to hug him. My mother lifted Roland onto the bed from where he could reach his grandfather easily. "Careful, Ro."

"You worry too much, Hermione dear." My father laughed, squeezing the little boy to his chest. "How are you, Roland?"

"I'm fine. Mummy and I made a new friend." I groaned.

"Roland, not this again." I mumbled.

"Oh?" My mother asked, her lips twitching upwards with amusement. She sat down beside me on one of the two chairs pulled up next to the bed. "And who is this friend?"

"Nobody. He's Roland's friend." I said.

"Mister Maffoy." Roland grinned and I dropped my face into my hands. "We made a cake for him!"

"You did?" My father said, trying to bite back a smile. "Malfoy, you say? As in Draco Malfoy?"

"Dad." I said, a warning tone in my voice. "Do not go there."

"So Draco Malfoy, huh?" My mother nudged me with her elbow.

"MOM." I cried, outraged. "No! Just no! He's Roland's friend, not mine."

"But you said you both would be friends soon." Roland frowned.

I huffed. "Yes, I did."

Both my parents were now grinning openly, looking between my son and me.

"You'll keep us updated about Mister Malfoy, won't you, Ro?" My mother said cheekily.

"No he will not." I said at the same time Roland exclaimed- "Yes, I will!"

"I give up." I said, shaking my head. "How are you feeling, dad?"

"A lot better, 'Mione. Especially after seeing my two favourite people in the world." He smiled softly.

"What about me?" My mother asked, narrowing her eyes playfully.

"You, my dear, come third."

Roland and I laughed loudly while my mother pretended to be offended.

"Are we interrupting something?" We turned around to see Ron, Harry and Ginny standing at the door, a vase with white daisies in Ginny's hands.

"Not at all, come in!" My mother smiled, standing up to embrace each of them in turn. Ginny placed the vase on the table beside the bed before leaning in to hug my father.

"How are you feeling, Robert?" Harry asked and it surprised me when both boys hugged my father instead of their usual handshake.

It obviously surprised him as well because instead of answering Harry's question, he asked his own- "Growing soft for this old man are you, kids?"

Ron turned a bit red and looked away but Harry smiled. "I love that you can still call us kids."

"You will always be our kids no matter how old you are, son." Dad said, his eyes shining. He looked at Harry when he said this and after a few moments, Harry nodded, his own eyes glistening with unshed tears. He coughed and excused himself from the room and my father looked at me sadly, silently asking me to go after him. I nodded and left the room to find Harry. He was sitting in the corridor on one of the seats lined up against the wall, taking deep breaths.

"Hey." I said, coming to sit down next to him.

"Sorry about that. I didn't mean to-"

"You don't have to apologise for anything, Harry." I shook my head, cutting him off. "I know how much he means to you." After the war, Harry had helped me restore my parents' memories and when they didn't find it easy to let me into their lives again, it was Harry who had gone to speak to them and convinced them that I had really done the right thing. The only thing. Once things had settled down, Harry came to stay with us in our old house in London and although he had planned on staying for only a month or two, he stayed on for close to an year before both of us found apartments in muggle London but close to the wizarding side. During the time he had stayed with us, he and my father had grown extremely close and even if Harry hadn't confided in me that he considered him a father figure for himself, it was easy to see it in his eyes.

"After losing my own father, then Sirius and then Remus- I just- I don't know if I'm ready for this." He said. I reached for his hand and held it.

"I don't know if I'm ready either, Harry." I whispered. "I'm absolutely terrified out of my mind."

"What are we supposed to do, then?" He asked, his voice choked up.

"We do what we've always done. We be the strongest we can and we push forward."

"Together?"

"Always, Harry. I would be nowhere without the few of you." I said, squeezing his hand. "This is just the beginning, unfortunately."

"We're always going to be here for you, 'Mione." Harry said. I smiled at him.

"I know."

"Me, Ron, Gin, Pansy- even Malfoy." Harry said and then there was something in his eyes, the way his lips quirked upwards slightly, that made me let go of his hand and hit him lightly on the shoulder.

"Not you as well, Harry!" I said, my jaw dropping open. "Roland has not shut up about him and he's got my mother and father hooked onto this crazy notion that Malfoy and I are-"

"-Are?"

"Friends! We are not friends!" I exclaimed.

"I didn't even suggest that you were!" Harry defended himself. I narrowed my eyes at him.

"You did. I swear everybody is just in on some intricate plan of trying to get-" I clamped my mouth shut, deciding it was a better idea if I just kept quiet.

"Trying to get what, pray tell?" Harry grinned.

"Nothing." I snapped.

"He's a nice guy, you have to admit. And Roland clearly loves him."

"Harry Potter, that is enough." I said, glaring at him.

"Who does Roland love?" Ron asked, stepping out into the corridor with the both of us.

I said "Nobody" at the same time that Harry said "Malfoy."

"Oh, yeah, I was in there-" Ron nodded over his shoulder to my father's room, "-for exactly five minutes and I've heard enough nice things about Malfoy to last me a lifetime." He shuddered before grinning cheekily at me. "He been spending a lot of time at the Granger residence lately?"

"No!" I cried. "Everybody just- shut up!" Ron sat down on my other side, chuckling with Harry.

"What are you doing about Roland's birthday, Hermione?" Harry asked after a few moments' of silence. "Didn't he say that he didn't want to have his party if his grandfather won't be there to attend it?"

"I don't know, Harry." I said, running a hand tiredly through my hair. "It's not just his grandfather's last-" I choked on the last word and couldn't continue.

"Hermione." Ron said, taking my hand and squeezing it. "Will you let Harry and I do something for Ro's birthday?"

"Wh-what do you mean?" I asked, looking up at him.

"You've been so stressed out and exhausted about Roland and your father and work- will you let Harry and I handle this, please?"

"I- I couldn't! You both have work- you're important in the Auror office and I can't possibly expect you to drop everything and-"

"Hey." Harry said, silencing me by squeezing the fingers of my other hand. "If we don't drop everything for you, who do we drop everything for?"

Tears welled up in my eyes. "Harry..."

"It's true, Hermione. All our lives, you have dropped EVERYTHING the moment we've needed you- you have ALWAYS taken care of us- not even hesitating before doing so. Let us take care of you for once. You've always been there for everyone- let someone be there for you this time. Let us do this for you. For Ro." Ron said and the tears fell as I looked between my best friends.

"I love you both so much." I whispered.

"Is that a yes?" Harry asked.

I nodded, smiling through my tears. "It's a yes."

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_The day I had found out about Roland's sickness was still clearly imprinted into my mind, as if it had happened just yesterday. Roland had fallen terribly ill, throwing up and running an unusually high temperature for the second time in three weeks. I had rushed him to St. Mungo's and called my parents as soon as he was admitted into the emergency ward. My father had come within the next few minutes._

_"Your mother is so sorry she couldn't come, 'Mione, she was in the middle of an important appointment." He had said, hugging me tightly._

_"It was awful, I didn't know what to do." I mumbled, burying my face into his chest. _

_"You did the right thing bringing him here as soon as you realized there was nothing you could do yourself. Just breathe, it's going to be okay." He said, rubbing my back comfortingly. _

_I nodded, unable to say anything. I found out only two and a half hours of medical attention and testing later that nothing was going to be alright._

_"Miss Granger?" Healer David had been there the last time I had brought in Roland two weeks ago as well. "Our test reports from the last two weeks came in and we put them together with these current reports and have been able to understand why Roland's health has been as it has."_

_"What's going on, Healer?" I said. My father held tightly to my hand._

_"Would you like to follow me into my office?" He suggested. We did. And he sat us down and told us about the symptoms of a rare magical disease called Brickson's Malady. The malady caused extremely high fevers and nausea at first and then developed into more frequent fevers, convulsing, painful aches, breathlessness and profuse sweating in normal temperatures. It was hard to detect because they aren't the most unusual of symptoms but by studying red-blood cell counts and tracking detailed brain and heart activity, the malady could be detected so long as you were looking for it which Healer David had been. Finally he told us that the malady was incurable and that it took a maximum of fifteen months before it took it's victim. _

_"Why are you telling us this?" I whispered, tears already welling up in my eyes because I knew exactly why._

_"Miss Granger- I'm afraid that the symptoms and body activity of a Brickson's patient matches perfectly with your son's." My heart had stopped beating just then and I knew I was no longer breathing. My head began spinning and my vision was completely blurred out by the tears that were collecting in and spilling from my eyes. I barely registered my father's arm around my shoulders until I had risen to my feet, my wand clutched in my hand tightly. _

_"Hermione-" My father's choked voice spoke and both he and Healer David stood up as well. And then all I could see was red. Gritting my teeth together, I threw myself around the table and slammed the healer against his window, my wand at his throat._

_"Why would you speak such lies?!" I screamed into his face._

_"I'm sorry, Miss Granger, I really wish that there was something I could do." He said softly._

_"There is! There is something you can do but you're not telling me! You're not doing it! You're going to let my son die! You're a sick son of a bitch who's letting his patient die!" I cried, the tip of my wand digging into his throat. I felt my father wrap his arms around my waist and I struggled against his hold. "Let me go!"_

_"Hermione, put your wand down!" My father said firmly._

_"No! This man is not a healer! If he was, he would save my son!" I yelled, my entire body shaking. "Let me go!"_

_"Hermione!"_

_"You're really going to let my son die? You bastard!" The tears were falling faster than ever and I felt like the world was spinning. Spinning. I couldn't breathe. I couldn't see. Nothing felt right. _

_"I'm sorry, Miss Granger, I truly am. If there was ANYTHING I could do for your son, please believe me- I would." Healer David had said, not flinching at my words or my actions._

_"You're lying. You're a liar." I choked out before losing all the fight I had in me and dropping my wand arm to my side. "A liar." I wiped angrily at my eyes before extracting myself from my father's arms. I remember whispering for my father to stay by Roland's side and that I couldn't be there right now before walking out, almost mechanically, till the reception from where I flooed home. Within moments of stepping out into my living room, I was curled up on the floor, my knees drawn close to my chest and my eyes staring but not focused on the white wall beside the front door. For the next hour, I forced myself to recite spells, incantations, rhymes, poems, stories and books. Anything that would delay thoughts of what I had just learnt about._

_The fireplace came to life and I heard gasps before two figures bent down beside me._

_"Hermione? What's wrong? Are you sick?" Harry pressed his palm against my forehead and my eyes fluttered close. "Hey, stay with me- what's going on? Do I take you to St. Mungos?" He asked, shaking me slightly. I shook my head and curled up further._

_"Where's Ro, 'Mione?" Ginny asked, smoothening the hair out of my face. _

_"With dad." I mumbled, my voice hoarse. _

_"What's going on? You're scaring us. You never miss friday dinners without informing us." Harry said._

_I shook my head and suddenly the tears were falling, spilling out from beneath my eyelids. "Harry," I choked out. _

_"I'm going to go wrap up dinner and tell Ron that we're calling it an early night." Ginny spoke, squeezing my shoulder and standing up. "Call me if you need anything." She was gone in a few moments and Harry quietly lay down beside me, taking my hands and pulling me into his embrace._

_My face contorted and my lips parted, allowing a huge sob to escape my throat. Another followed. And then another. And soon my entire bode was trembling as I cried into Harry's shoulder. And he just held me tightly, not asking me to calm down, not telling me it would be okay, not asking any questions. He just held me- the entire hour, and then the entire night. The next morning, after not a wink of sleep, I finally moved and looked up into Harry's eyes when he pulled away slightly. _

_"Harry." I whispered, my voice completely broken. _

_"What is it, Hermione?" He asked._

_"Ro-Roland is sick." I choked out, the tears resurfacing and dripping down my cheeks and onto the carpet. _

_"What?" Harry asked, his eyebrows coming together as he sat up slowly. "S-sick? How?"_

_I sat down opposite him. "Brickson's Malady." _

_"No...N-no. That's- that's not possible- that's one of the rarest maladies and- it's impossible. Not Roland." He shook his head, his hand beginning to shake._

_"He has fourteen months, Harry." I finally managed to say- not only to him, but to myself as well. "My son is going to die."_

_After just gaping at me with wide eyes for the first few seconds, Harry grabbed me back into a hug and held on to me with everything he had, burying his face into my shoulder. And then he was crying. Tears soaked into the collar of my t-shirt and his body shook from the force of suppressed cries. . My arms around his back, I fisted the material of his shirt, biting down roughly on my lower lip to avoid breaking down completely again. The moment I heard his first sob, I released my lip and pressing my face into his shoulder, I allowed myself to sob with him. _

_Harry stayed with me until Sunday- just there, on the floor of my living room. He only got up on saturday to tell Ginny to pick up Roland from my parents' house and to take him to her's. When Ginny came in on saturday night with a sleeping Roland, she took one look at Harry and my tear-stained cheeks and her voice broke when she asked us what had happened. I quietly stood up and hugging Harry tightly, I told him I would come meet him later. He told me he loved me before kissing Roland's forehead and leaving. _

_"Hermione-" Ginny had started to say but I shook my head, gesturing for her to leave him upstairs first. She did and when she returned, I was seated on the couch. "Will you please tell me what's going on? This is really scaring me."_

_"Roland ended up with an awful fever on friday afternoon and I took him to Mungo's. It was the second time in three weeks. They ran tests on him again and began drawing up conclusions from last time's tests as well. Ginny, they found what it was."_

_"Hermione, you're scaring me." She whispered, grabbing my hand. "Just say it. Please." _

_"He's been diagnosed with Brickson's Malady."_

_"I- I- Isn't that a really rare disease?" She asked, swallowing hard. I nodded. "There must be some mistake- he's just four- he can't-" She shook her head resolutely. _

_"He has 14 months, Ginny." I said, my eyes welling up with tears. Her mouth opened and closed several times before closing finally. She squeezed her eyes shut and when she opened them again, her vision was obscured by tears. She pulled her hand away from mine and stumbled her way to the bathroom, where she shut the door firmly. I sat where I was, my tears falling down my cheeks, staring at the bathroom door. Suddenly, I heard a loud crack and then the sound of glass shattering. Oh god. I ran to the bathroom and pressed my forehead against the door._

_"Ginny, please don't hurt yourself." I said, trying to sound a little strong for the sake of my friend. "Ginny." Something else shattered. "Ginny! Just open the door! Please!" And something else. "Ginny!" I heard something hit the floor and it was followed by loud sobs. "Open the door, Ginny..."_

_A weight fell against the door on the other side and I assumed it was Ginny leaning against it. I wiped at my face before sinking to the floor against the door. I cried silently while listening to Ginny's whimpers and sobs. A few minutes later, the door opened and I crawled into the bathroom and sat down on the floor beside her against the wall. She wrapped her arms around my waist and I pulled her closer towards me. _

_When she finally said something, it was- "Neither of you will ever be alone, Hermione. I promise you- we will always be here for you, as we always have been. As we always will be." _

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**So that's done! That was a depressing chapter mostly :/ But I hope you found it a good read!**

**Thank you all so so much for being patient with me! Please please do review xx**


	8. Chapter 8

_**What Comes After C8**_

Hi readers! Sorry for the wait! Summer has begun and I'm on holiday so I don't have my laptop with me all the time! I hope to get most of this story done within these two months so hopefully the updates will come in quickly! Thank you so much for the increasing number of reviews, follows and favorites! You guys are the best! xx

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"Okay, Ro, you ready?" Ron asked, covering my eyes while Harry covered Roland's.

"Yes!" Ro said and I could hear the excitement in his voice. I smiled as Ron lead us to well, somewhere. Finally he stopped and said-

"Okay, on three. One, two, three." He removed his hands from my eyes and I blinked a few times before my eyes adjusted to the light and when it did, my hand flew to my mouth. The entire 's general injury reception area was covered in streamers and balloons, and a large sign that read "Happy Birthday Roland" hung above the reception desk. All the staff members who knew Roland were standing in the reception, holding presents and wearing large smiles. Ginny and Pansy stood at the center, grinning. They joined us and Harry and Ron lead us on through one of the corridors and anyone who passed by wished Roland, who couldn't stop smiling from ear to ear, his eyes bright. His two uncles lead him to one of the rooms and when he pushed open the door, tears welled up in my eyes at the sight.

My father was sitting up on the hospital bed, a big present wrapped in blue wrapping paper sitting on his lap. Mother stood beside him, holding another present and the room was otherwise filled with the Weasleys and everyone else who Roland loved. There was no lack of decorations here either and a huge "5" hung on one wall while on the other hung a "Happy Birthday!"

"Happy birthday, Ro." Harry said, hugging him. Roland hugged him tightly before hugging his Uncle Ron and then everybody else. I sniffed and wiped at my tears as Ron pulled me into his side.

"Are you crying?" He asked, the corner of his mouth tugging upwards. I shook my head but the tears kept coming. He kissed my hair before pulling me into a hug. "I know you could've done a better job but we-" I shook my head vigorously against his shoulder, holding on tightly to him.

"You both did a better job than I would've been able to. You gave Ro everything he wanted on his birthday- especially his grandfather." I choked out. He squeezed me once more before releasing me and wiping away my tears with his hands.

"Today's a day to be happy-"

"These are happy tears, Ron. Thank you." I smiled as Harry came to us. "Both of you. I don't know what I would do without you."

"You do everything you can to make your family happy, Hermione. That's all we were doing." Harry said, taking my hand.

"How did you manage all this?" I asked, looking around. "It isn't just this room- the entire reception, the staff- when did you do all this? I thought you had a case last night?"

"I did. But Malfoy knew what we were planning and said he'd take the case for me instead." Harry said.

"He's on a case right now?" I asked, unable to explain why a slight bit of disappointment washed over me. "He isn't here? For Roland?"

"He should be done in an hour or two." Harry said. "Debriefing is a long process so we can only hope he's not too tired after it all to come."

"He'll come." Pansy said, joining us. "Roland means a lot to Draco. He would hate to upset the kid." I nodded, knowing that Roland WOULD be upset if he didn't land up today.

The rest of the party went in full swing, Roland enjoying every bit of it. Ron, Harry, Ginny and Pansy had got together with Molly to bake the most fantastic chocolate cake Roland had ever set his eyes on- and they had done it without a single bit of magic. So from four to eight, everybody seemed to have a great time- and Roland didn't mind one bit that other than his cousins, no one his age was there. These people- every one of them- were his family.

When there were only our core group of friends remaining, Roland began nodding off onto his grandfather's shoulder. Harry, Ron, Pansy and Ginny helped clean up and then left, each kissing Roland and squeezing the life out of me in a hug before doing so. I sighed, dropping into a chair beside my mother next to the hospital bed, where dad and Ro sat, Ro tucked under his arm. We sat in comfortable silence, looking at the little boy, for a few minutes before someone at the door spoke.

"I'm sorry I'm late." We all turned to the figure who was standing, his hair windswept and a long package gripped in his hands.

"Malfoy." I said, standing up. "You came."

"I wouldn't have missed Roland's birthday." He said, walking towards us. He nodded at my parents- "Mr and Mrs Granger, a pleasure to meet you"- and shook their hands. My father gripped his hand for a second longer and I could tell his hold on the blonde's hand was firm. He finally released his hand and nudged Roland gently.

"Ro, look who's here for you." Roland blinked sleepily. "Open your eyes and look up." Roland opened his eyes finally and looked around until he saw Malfoy and when he did, a smile stretched across his face.

"You came." He whispered.

"Yeah, buddy. Did you really think I wouldn't?" Malfoy said, sitting at the edge of the bed in front of Roland.

"You weren't there for my party." Ro said.

"I know, I'm really sorry. I had a case I had to go on and it only finished a while ago."

"Are you tired?"

"Very. But no matter how tired I am, I would have still come." Malfoy answered, ruffling Ro's hair. He then held out the package. "I got you a gift."

"What is it?" Roland asked, running his hands over the surface of the wrapping.

"Open it and see." He did. He ripped open the package and gasped at the child-sized broom on his lap.

"Is it real?" He asked, awestruck.

"Of course it is. But you can't use it until your mum allows you to and you can only use it if Uncle Harry or Ron or I'm around, got it?" Roland nodded, grinning. He held the broom out to me and confused, I came forward and took it from him. As soon as his hands were free, he reached out and wrapped his small arms around Malfoy's neck. Malfoy froze for a moment, eyes wide, before visibly relaxing and hugging the little boy back. "Happy birthday, Ro."

"Thank you for coming, Mister Ma-Malfoy." Roland said. Malfoy smiled at him before pulling away.

"Anytime, buddy. Go to sleep now. I'm sure you're more tired than I am."

"Goodnight." Roland said, his eyes instantly drooping shut the moment he got his Mister Malfoy's permission.

"Goodnight, Ro." All four of us in the room said and then smiled.

"I'm going to head home." Malfoy said, standing up. "It was nice meeting you, Mr and Mrs Granger."

"Thank you for coming, son." Dad said and a look of surprise flashed through Malfoy's face for a brief moment before he nodded and headed towards the door.

"I'll drop you outside." I said, walking with him. "I'll be right back. Dad, get some sleep." I left with Malfoy and it was quiet for a while until I finally found my voice. "Thank you, Malfoy."

"I had to come."

"Not just for coming- for covering Harry's case too." I said. "It means a lot to Roland and to- to me."

He nodded. "Your dad called me 'son'. Now why is it that he sounded more like he meant it than my father ever did?" He said and though his voice was light, his eyes held a whole other story. "I should say thank you to you too, Granger. For letting me around your son."

"He needs all the love he can get. I won't stand in the way of someone who wants to care for him like you do." I said softly.

There was silence once again when we reached the reception. He surprised me by sitting down on one of the seats instead of leaving. "When I- when I got out of Azkaban and went to Milan for those four years- my first year was under house arrest and then I was put into Auror training when I was asked to join a department. The next three years, I trained and climbed the ranks. Everyday I would wonder what I was doing with my life. My mother and Pansy were here- they're all I had. And I wasn't with them. But I didn't leave for one reason- the one chance at redemption I was getting in the Auror department in Milan and second-" He smiled sadly, "-a four year old boy living across the corridor in my apartment building. I think he took more care of me than I did myself. He- he gave me a chance. His muggle parents were wary at first. But then I helped his grandmother when he got sick and his parents weren't at home and they warmed up to me. I would go over to their house for meals, his parents would take care of me when I was sick no matter how much I insisted I didn't need their help, the kid would come over and watch television with me whenever he proclaimed I was alone." I sat down beside him and pulled my feet onto the seat, hugging my knees.

"And then one day- four years later- they moved out. They told me a month in advance and then they were gone. And I was still where I was four years ago. So I applied for a posting in Britain and I got it. I came here, knowing I wouldn't stand a chance with the people but coming anyway because- because this is home. My mother and Pansy are the only home I ever had. And then- Roland came along. And then Roland- Roland reminded me so much of that kid. I was in what felt like a new place- new people- and he gave me the chance I so desperately needed."

"What was his name?" I asked softly, looking at Malfoy. "The boy in Milan."

"Jonathan." Malfoy answered.

"Are you in touch with them?"

He took a deep breath. "I sometimes talk to his parents, yes."

"And Jonathan?"

Malfoy looked at me. "That's a story for another day. I just wanted to let you know why I'm attached to Roland before you remembered that I might have bad intentions."

I shook my head. "I stopped thinking that the day you came over to my house when I asked you to, for Roland. If I thought you had bad intentions, I wouldn't have let you near my son."

"Are you scared?" He asked me suddenly.

"Scared for what?" I asked, furrowing my eyebrows.

"For whatever is going to come. Your secret- the one you asked me to leave alone. I'm not asking you what it is- I'm asking you if you're scared."

"Honestly, Malfoy, I'm more than terrified. I stop breathing when I think about it. And I can't not think about it." I said softly.

"You're going to be okay." He said. "You have so many people around you who love you."

"Sometimes all you need and want is one person." I whispered. "And it's that one person who isn't around when all you want is them."

* * *

I moved swiftly from the kitchen to the living room when I heard a loud thud while opening the oven. I breathed out in relief when I saw that it was only a large book that Roland had pulled off the bookshelf and onto the floor.

"What are you up to, Ro?" I asked from the doorway.

"Photo books." He looked up at me with a guilty expression for being caught.

"You could have just asked me, love. Give me a moment." I smiled, letting him know that it was okay. After taking out the tray of muffins we were baking, I switched off the oven before going to the living room, picking out a couple of photo albums and sitting down on the sofa where Roland was bouncing excitedly. We were a few pages through the album and were laughing at a picture of George painting Ron's face while the latter was sleeping when the floo network chimed, alerting me of someone calling to get through. I waved my wand and Malfoy's figure flashed through the fireplace. I sighed and granted him access and he stepped through into the living room within the next few seconds.

"Mister Malfoy!" Roland squealed, jumping off the sofa and running towards him and hugging him around the legs. Malfoy's lips twitched in amusement before he patted Roland on the head and ruffled his hair.

"Hello, Malfoy. Do you need something?" I asked, turning my attention from my son to the man towering above him.

"I actually needed to talk to someone who was connected with the Mungo's orphanage center." He said. "You work there, do you not?"

"Yes, indeed I do." I nodded. "We're actually going to the hospital in a few minutes. Is it very urgent?"

"Not at all. It can wait."

"Um- what about two o clock tomorrow? Aurors have their lunch break then. We can talk then if you want to." I said, fidgeting with the cushion covers.

Malfoy cleared his throat and I was glad to see that I wasn't the only one feeling uncomfortable. "Yes, that should be fine. Where would you be comfortable meeting?"

"I might come home for lunch tomorrow as I'm taking a half day to go to the hospital with Ro at 2:30. Would you- uh- want to come here? I'll leave my floo open for you."

He nodded curtly. "That sounds fine. Sorry to bother you today- my mother wanted me to talk to you about it as soon as I could."

I was curious but I didn't ask how his mother was involved. We really had to get going to the hospital. I closed the album on my lap and stood up.

"I'll see you tomorrow then, Granger." Malfoy nodded and ruffling Ro's hair again, he disappeared through the floo.

"Let's get ready, Ro. We're going to meet Grandpa." We were out of the house in ten minutes and entered my father's room. My smile dropped when I saw all the new tubes connected to his body and a lot more monitors on the bedside table. "Hey, dad."

My parents turned around and grinned at me, my father's face looking exhausted. Roland was about to run forward but I caught him around the waist and lifted him up before he could jump onto the bed and jostle any of the tubes. I placed him down carefully beside his grandfather on the bed and stood behind him with my hands on his shoulders.

"How are you, grandpa?" He asked quietly.

"I'm doing fine, Ro. What about you?" Dad smiled. I felt my throat clog up and I swallowed hard to keep my emotions in check.

"I'm fine too. Mister Malfoy came home!" Lord, no. Not this again.

"He did, did he?" My mother perked up.

"He wanted to talk to mummy." Roland said innocently.

"Roland..." I groaned. "Your grandparents don't want to hear about Mister Malfoy."

"Of course we do!" My father exclaimed, grinning at me cheekily. "What did he say?"

"He wanted to speak to someone about something related to the Mungo's orphanage center." I said.

"And that somebody just happened to be you?" My mother asked.

"I am not having this conversation. Everyone in my life needs to stop playing match-maker." I said firmly.

"What's match-maker?" Roland asked.

"It's a silly game that people should not play." I said, glaring at my parents.

"Can I play?" He asked excitedly.

"Honey, you're the biggest player in the game." My mother mumbled, fighting a smile.

"I am?!" Ro exclaimed, looking between the three of us.

"No!" I cut through before either of my parents could encourage the little boy further. "Honey, it's a joke. It's nothing."

"We'll talk about it later, darling. Your mother is being a spoil-sport." Mum said, nudging Ro in the side. He grinned and agreed immediately. I shook my head in defeat. She then smiled and stood up. "Let's go get something to eat, Ro." He hugged his grandfather gently before allowing mum to lift him into her arms and leaving with her.

I sat down beside my father, taking his hand and swallowing back the lump forming in my throat.

"How are you?" He asked.

"I've been better." I said, smiling weakly.

"Hermione, sweetheart." He started and I knew that this was going to be a painful conversation. "You know what's going to happen very soon- its no point in trying to avoid the inevitable." He took a deep breath and so did I. "I am so proud of you, you know that, right? I know we were awful to you after you brought us home after your...war. I know we weren't the supportive parents that you needed then and-"

"No, dad-"

"Listen to me. I am so sorry we weren't there for you when you needed us the most. If there's one thing I regret, it's that I wasn't able to be there for my baby girl. Even if I couldn't do anything during the war, I should have been there when I could. But I wasn't and I am so sorry but I want you to know that even though we were angry about what you did- I couldn't have been more proud of you. Not just for the war, for everything. And I need you to know that."

I nodded, tears spilling out of my eyes.

"You have to be strong, okay?" He said, taking both my hands and squeezing them. "You have a tough three months ahead and an even tougher time after that but promise me one thing, 'Mione- promise me that you will not give up. You will be as strong as you can, you won't push people away, you won't stop- living. I cannot imagine life without you and I can't imagine what I would have done had you lost your life in the war and we still had our memories so I cannot imagine what you are going through but Hermione, you can't give up." I bowed my head and released a sob.

"Promise me, Hermione. That you won't give up. Because you have come so far. And great things are waiting for you in your life- you have to keep moving forward." He released one of my hands and held my face gently and I shifted closed to him. "Promise me, darling."

I nodded, biting down on my lower lip. "I don't want you to leave." I choked out and my father pulled me towards him. I lay down beside him, my head on his shoulder.

"Nor do I want to leave. But there's nothing we can do about it now. Take care of your mother for me."

"I will." I whispered. "But daddy, promise me you'll take care of Roland."

"I would've done it even if you hadn't asked. I'm leaving now for a reason. I'll be there when it's Roland's time and I promise I'll take care of him, 'Mione. I will be there for him."

"That's all I ask." I said. "I love you so much."

"I love you too, sweetheart. Don't you forget it." His voice broke and I nodded against his shoulder, tears soaking his hospital gown and for the next half hour, we lay together like we used to when I was little.

We left that night and after dropping Roland off at the nursery, I called in to the orphanage and they said I could have the entire day off to be with my father. I spent the morning with my parents and it was evident that my father was growing weaker and weaker with every breath. When I returned to his room after getting my mother and myself something to drink, the cups of water slipped out of my fingers as I stared blankly at the sight in front of me. The tears in my mother's eyes and the nurses and doctor leaving my father's room with somber expressions said everything I needed to know.

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_**Chapter 8 is done and I have finished writing chapter 9 as well so as soon as this one gets through and all of you receive it, I will upload the next! Please please please review! They honestly make my day and encourage me so much! xx**_


	9. Chapter 9

******What Comes After C9**

Hi readers! So some reviews asked questions/or otherwise and I'll address those first:

_willow136: When Ginny is telling Hermione what she should tell the Prophet, about Ro being a baby she took care of on a long Auror mission, that's true. You'll get to know more in the coming chapters as well though :)_

_tris-everdeen99: Thank you so much for your feedback! I'm always open for ways to improve :) As for how Roland being Hermione's son came out in the prophet- it will be touched upon briefly later on. Sorry for the late response, by the way! I only had time to respond now!_

**Thank you every one else for your encouraging reviews, I'm so glad you're enjoying my story xx**

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I had returned home in a dazed state, tears running down my cheeks. I made it halfway between the fireplace and coffee table before my legs gave out and I collapsed to the floor, exhausted. I lay down and curled up, remembering first my father's smiling face just hours ago and then my mother crying over his body. He was gone. Just...gone. How was I supposed to even process that? I had known for months that this day was going to come but nothing could have prepared me for the pain I felt twisting through my heart then.

I had forgotten that I had left the floo network open and realized it only when someone stepped through. My mind tried to figure out who it could be but everything hurt too much. Tears spilt out of my eyes again and I squeezed my eyes shut.

The figure fell to their knees beside me quickly. "Granger?! Hey, what's going on?!" I was supposed to meet Malfoy for lunch. I had forgotten.

"What time is it?" I asked in a whisper, forcing my eyes open.

He checked his watch. "Almost 2:30. I'm sorry I'm late- I got caught up. What is going on?" He pressed his palm against my cheek and then my forehead. "Are you feeling ill?"

"Can you get someone to pick Roland up, please? And take him to their house. Just- just not here." I said softly, staring with unfocused eyes at the floor.

"Granger. Hey, look at me." He said, tucking my hair behind my ear and forcing me to look at him by turning my face. "I need you to tell me what's wrong. Should I call a healer?"

I shook my head tiredly. "I'm not sick, Malfoy. Please get someone to pick Roland up. He'll worry otherwise." Malfoy stared at me for a moment, his hand still on my cheek, before nodding.

"Can I get Harry?"

"For Roland?" I asked.

"No, for you." He said. I didn't say anything and he took that as a yes because one moment, he was gone and the moment after, Harry was stepping through the floo.

"Hermione?" He asked, sitting down quicklybeside me. "What happened?"

His voice broke something within me and the tears were suddenly falling. "Harry."

"Hey, I'm right here." He said, lying down beside me on the floor.

"Harry- he's gone." I said, releasing a sob. "Dad's gone."

"Oh, god, Hermione. I'm so sorry." He said, his voice cracking. He took my hands and pulled me towards him and held me tightly, rubbing my back comfortingly.

"He's gone, Harry."

I had gone to Ginny's house, assuming that Malfoy had most probably gone to the youngest Weasley first. She had held me tightly in an embrace with tears in her eyes before telling me that she could only take Roland until an important surgery so Malfoy returned to take him to his own house and had opened his floo network for me. I stepped through into Malfoy's living room and was surprised when neither of the two figures sitting asleep on the couch awoke. Tired and just wanting to be near my son lead me to sit down quietly beside the two. Malfoy was sitting at one end of the couch, hugging Roland who was seated on his lap, his cheek pressed against Malfoy's chest. I sat curled up beside them on their left and reached out with a trembling hand to touch Roland's soft hair. It was just the beginning. Roland would be next and then the pain would only increase exponentially.

A sob ripped through my lips and I clamped my palms against my mouth, barring the next from escaping.

"Hey."

Leaving my hands over my mouth, I looked up to see Malfoy blinking at me.

"Did you floo here?" I nodded. "I can't believe I didn't wake up to it."

"How's Ro?" I whispered, my voice broken. I moved my hands down to my lap.

"He was confused when I picked him up and asked for you- I didn't know what to tell him so I said you were busy. He allowed me to take him to Ginny's home and then to my place before her surgery and after my work easily enough and fell asleep, absolutely exhausted, after dinner."

"Thank you for taking him." I said, running my fingers tiredly through my hair.

"What happened, Granger?" He asked. I looked at him, my eyes shining with tears.

"How do I tell Roland that his grandfather is gone forever?" I said, reaching out and resting my hand on Roland's back.

"You tell him just that." Malfoy said. "He's a smart boy, he'll figure it out if you don't."

I nodded. "Yeah." Tears welled up in my eyes and poured down my cheeks.

"Where's your mum?"

"I brought her to our home after we left the hospital. She didn't want to leave at all but- she couldn't stay there forever."

"I'm sure my mother would like to have someone to talk to so if- if your mother ever wants to talk, she's welcome here." Malfoy offered. I looked up at him, my vision blurry.

"You look out a lot for our family." I said. It wasn't a question but an observation. He shrugged. "Why?"

"Don't ask me questions I can't answer, Granger." He said softly.

"Malfoy." I choked out after a few moments of silence. He turned to me even though I was looking only at Roland's peaceful expression. "What am I going to do in four months?" A new tide of tears rose to my eyes and spilled down my cheeks and I had to purse my lips tightly to keep in the sobs.

And he didn't ask me what I meant. Didn't ask me anything at all. He just reached out with the hand closer to me and intertwined his fingers with mine and held on tightly to my hand, offering the comfort that he could without making both of us uncomfortable. I was grateful. Not just because he was there for Roland.

* * *

The next morning was one of the longest mornings I had had in a while. Even with Harry, Ginny and Ron's constant support, the pressure of having to be strong for Roland and my mother was difficult. Roland had woken up during the floo journey from Malfoy's house to our's and I had told him that his grandfather was gone. We had both cried through the night till he fell asleep and lay awake through most of the remaining hours. The funeral went slowly and by the time it was over, I was relieved. Roland had fallen asleep and when my mother and I took him home, we put him in my bed before sitting together on the sofa.

"You can stop, you know?" She said, turning to look at me.

"Stop what?"

"Being strong for your family." I stared at her- her face was drawn and tired but she had a smile on her face. "I'm a mother too, darling. But more importantly- I'm your mother. You don't have to be strong for me."

My breath hitched and I felt my eyes sting. "How do you do it? How do you smile through this?"

"I've had twenty-eight years with your father, Hermione. Twenty-eight of the best years of my life. It's better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all. I wished for a life with someone who would love me forever- I got that. I will love your father till my last breath and I can confidently say he loved me till his last. I've had my life with him- it was bound to end someday. But I cherish every moment with him and I know that he's safe now and nothing can hurt him. I live on knowing that I spent most of my life with the man that meant the most to me and he lived his life to the fullest. Just because he's gone doesn't mean so is our happiness. I'm upset he left me but look what he gave me-" She placed her hand on mine, tears shining in her eyes "-he gave me the best gift of all. You. You will always have a part of your father in you and that is enough for me. He didn't die alone or unhappy, that is enough for me. He was so so loved and yes, I will miss him dearly and there will be times when I will cry for him but he wouldn't want me to grieve forever. These first few months, I will feel nothing but loss but his memories and our love will always keep him alive for me."

I nodded, taking in her words and marveling at her strength.

"You don't have to be strong for me, Hermione. I'm your mother." She said. I lay down on the sofa with my head in her lap and finally let myself cry as she stroked my hair comfortingly. And just for the next hour, I allowed myself to be a grieving girl who had lost her father instead of a twenty-three year old mother who was supposed to be strong for her family.

* * *

Sunday evening found me taking a cab to Pansy's house for a much-needed unwinding session with the others. Roland was supposed to have stayed home with my mother but he grew extremely upset and I ended up bringing him along to Pansy's. I knocked on the front door and it opened in the next few seconds, Harry on the other side.

"Hey, 'Mione. How are you holding up?" He asked.

"I'm...holding up." I answered. Harry returned the sad smile I sent him before kissing my cheek and stepping aside to let me in after pulling Ro out of my arms. Ginny and Pansy were immediately crushing me with hugs before sitting down- Pansy on the armchair and Ginny beside Harry on the sofa.

"Hermione!" Ron exclaimed, emerging from the kitchen with three glasses of what looked like firewhiskey in his hands. He quickly handed them to Pansy, Ginny and Harry before sweeping me into a bone-crushing hug. "You holding up alright?"

"Yes, Ron, thank you." I whispered, hugging him back and allowing his warmth to engulf me before he released me to sit beside his sister on the sofa.

"Firewhiskey for you, Granger?" I turned to see Malfoy in the kitchen pouring the drink into two more glasses for himself and Ron.

"No, thank you." I didn't drink when Roland was around- so basically I didn't drink much at all.

"Pumpkin juice?" He offered, heading for the refrigerator.

"That would be lovely." I said before sitting down on the two-seater couch. Malfoy appeared with three glasses, passing one to Ron and another to me. I thanked him and said a quiet 'yes, of course' when he asked if he could sit with me. Roland jumped off Harry's lap instantly and ran to Malfoy, who picked him up with ease and sat him down between the two of us. Ro then proceeded to tuck himself into the older man's side, holding onto his arm and resting his head on his upper arm.

"I'm sorry, Malfoy. Roland, let go of Mister Malfoy- he might not be comfortable-"

"Draco loves kids, Hermione." Pansy grinned at me, waving her hand dismissively at what I was about to tell Roland. "He isn't uncomfortable at all." I turned to the man in question for confirmation.

"I'm fine, don't worry." He said. I nodded and turned back to see all of the others staring at the two of us with strange expressions and slight smiles on their faces both of which I refused to acknowledge. I raised my head a little higher.

"So Pansy, how have sales been going?" I asked the black-haired witch. She ran a boutique in Diagon Alley which had started off in Knockturn receiving all kinds of hate but once George and Ron managed to bring it's location near to the joke-shop and pull in different kinds of wards and good advertising, her sales had only been increasing.

"This week has been a bit slow but hopefully they'll bounce back soon enough." She smiled. The conversation continued smoothly and my mind was pulled away and distracted from my parents as the evening proceeded. It was partially to do with the conversation and partially to do with the man sitting comfortably beside me despite my little boy falling asleep on his arm, which he would often adjust according to how Roland was squirming around. It was a relief to see that after the whole day of Roland being cranky and upset, he had finally calmed down but I suppose it wasn't much of a surprise anymore that it was Malfoy who had managed to do it without even trying.

When it touched nine-thirty, we all decided we needed to call it a night for we all had work the next morning. I stood up and returned half our glasses to the kitchen, Ginny returning the others.

I bent forward and tried to pull Roland off Malfoy's arm but he resisted, a whine escaping his lips.

"Roland, baby, let go of Mister Malfoy. He needs to go home." I said softly.

Roland shook his head vehemently and mumbled, "Mister Malfoy come home with us."

I stiffened, not sure what to say or where to look. I knew that Malfoy was looking straight at me, wondering what my reaction would be.

"He can't do that, honey. He has his own home." I said quietly. Harry and Ginny said goodbye to me quickly and left and I turned back to my son. "Let's go." I encircled his waist with my arm and tried to pull him away but he refused to let go. "Ro, this is getting ridiculous. Let go now."

Roland promptly began tearing up, his breath hitching as he began to cry. I didn't understand what I was supposed to do.

"Ro, come on. Don't make me angry now." I said firmly. "Let's go home."

He promptly began to cry and I released him, really not knowing what to do. If it was Harry or Ron, I would normally ask if they could drop Roland home with me but Malfoy? How was I even supposed to deal with this? What was I supposed to say?

I was genuinely surprised when Malfoy stood up and pulled Roland into his arms. Ro's tears disappeared in a moment and he rested his head on Malfoy's shoulder.

"I'll drop him home." He said and walked over to Pansy to kiss her cheek as goodbye, leaving no room for argument.

"Night, 'Mione. Call if you need anything." Ron said, coming up to hug me. I still couldn't take my eyes off Roland in Malfoy's arms, sleeping comfortably. "Although tonight, I don't think you will."

"Ronald Weasley!" I scolded lightly, once I registered what he had said. He winked at me cheekily before nodding goodbye to Malfoy, who headed to the front door. I hugged Pansy and followed him out the door while slipping on my jacket.

"I'm really sorry about this, Malfoy. I really don't know what's come over Roland." I said as we walked towards the main road.

"If I didn't carry him all the way, you would've had to and lets be honest- you're a lot more tired this weekend than I am." He said. I didn't quite have anything to say so I didn't speak at all. All I could think about was how he never ceased to surprise me with his words and actions. "Speaking of this weekend, uh, how are you doing?"

"I'm just tired and I haven't been able to sleep properly in a week but- yeah, I guess I'm doing the best I can." I said, surprised at how honest I was being. "About Thursday- I- I never got to thank you properly. For taking Roland home and- and checking if I was alright and bringing Harry to me. It meant a lot to me." I added the last part in a whisper.

"I did what was right. I wasn't going to just leave you there and- and you might not believe me but I really do love Roland. He's a really great kid."

I nodded as we hailed a cab and got inside, Malfoy sitting at one end and I sitting at the other. The trip was made in silence and we were soon climbing up the flight of stairs that lead to my apartment.

"I really am sorry about this, Malfoy." I said softly as he adjusted his hold on my son and climbed the stairs.

"Don't worry about it." He said. I unlocked the apartment door and stepped inside and held the door open for him. He entered and as I shut the door and locked it, my mother stood up quickly from her place on the sofa where she had been reading and came up to us.

"He won't come to you, mum." I said softly, shaking my head when she tried to take Ro from Malfoy and the little boy began whimpering. "Malfoy, would you mind just dropping him upstairs? Mum will take care of him once he knows you've put him to bed in his own home." He nodded and followed me upstairs to Ro and my room.

"He doesn't sleep in his own bed?" Malfoy asked when I switched on the bedside lamp to reveal a queen sized bed in a neatly organized room rather than a single bed in a child's bedroom.

"He used to never sleep well so he spent many nights in my room- after a while he just took to sleeping here every night and I had no complaints."

"He'll have to someday move into his own room." Malfoy commented, putting Ro down gently on the bed. Roland released his arm and snuggled under his blanket.

I kept silent at Malfoy's comment but suddenly wanted to just straight out tell him what he had once desperately been trying to find out. But I held my tongue and simply shrugged. Mum was at the bedroom doorway when we turned around and she thanked Malfoy with a smile. He replied with a 'it was my pleasure' before walking back downstairs with me.

"I'll see you around then, Granger." He said before turning towards the fireplace.

"I was wrong." I rushed to say. He turned around and raised his eyebrows in question. "I was wrong about you. When I said you hadn't changed and- I'm sorry."

He buried his hands in his pockets and nodded. "And if it counts for anything-" He looked me straight in the eye as he said it, "-I'm sorry as well. For eleven years ago and everything after. It started off only by calling you names but it ended with watching you get tortured in my own home." I flinched, memories I had kept locked away struggling to resurface. "I know an apology doesn't make up for anything, but I really am sorry. And maybe you'll never forgive me for it but if there was a way I could change things, I would have. You didn't deserve what happened."

"I appreciate that, Malfoy. Thank you." I nodded, my throat suddenly feeling tight. "What I said about you staying away from my son-" I swallowed hard as I said the next few words "-I take it back. I'm glad you didn't stay away from him."

"Me too." He said softly. "Goodnight, Granger."

"Goodnight, Malfoy." I replied, offering him a small smile. He nodded and left, leaving me standing in the middle of my living room, my heart beating a little faster than usual.

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**Thank you for reading! You guys are the best, please keep reading and reviewing/favouriting/following and I'm going to be updating as fast as possible! A lot of Dramione coming up ;) And a lot more Draco/Roland as well :')****See you next chapter xx**


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